cw: reproductive system talk

UUUUUGH my endo is kicking my ASS this month

i was promised early menopause, what is this shit

I actually AM showing signs of pre-menopause, which makes my seven-years-older-and-still-regular-as-the-bus sister extremely grouchy lol

but the periods don't stop till that shit gets good and soaked in

see and the thing is I'm only stage 2 out of 4, there's two levels WORSE than this, and I genuinely don't know how those folks LIVE because i'm fucking miserable and just want to cry right now because it's like getting the flu every single month

but ALSO this is pretty mild as far as this shit goes so jesus fUCK

(the funny thing is that if you go by the rote definition i actually am a Stage 4 since there's tissue outside my abdomen, but it's so little that the doctor basically shrugged and said "basically 2")

(still means i cramp from my thighs to my mid back tho)

and as long as I GET the period everything's fine, but if I skip two in a row I have to get checked because there's every chance adhesions form that block off my uterus so they gotta go in there and physically scrape it out, which has happened once before and OH MY GOD THAT FUCKING HURT

that was the day i've learned that apparently every gynecologist has been kicked in the face at least once lol

keep in mind ya bitch here literally got hit in the ribs with a ball bat so hard that my ribs have a permanent indentation in them and kept fighting so if i say something really fucking hurt, understand what that means

though that was also a fun day because now i can explain that "Vicodin doesn't make you stop hurting, it just makes you stop CARING that you're hurting"

like i'm a gelatinous wad in the passenger seat while my mom's driving me home, going "no, i mean, it still hurts, but it's like...over there" -vague gesture towards windshield-

anyway tl;dr all the symptoms of the flu with none of the contagiousness that means i get to stay home today, boo

it's absolute bullshit what people with uteruses are expected to deal with in terms of pain

oh yeah i've been told that i'm like, 99% likely to be infertile, but they won't cut the damn thing out because i might want kids one day, if you want to debate that one

this was the same appointment where i was told i was the oldest virgin the doctor had ever seen

laughs, fuckin LOVE that one!!!!