Let me start over. My husband and I are in our early 70s. We're in good health and I plan to live to be 100. But, at some point we may need help, or may be briefly hospitalized. Both our sets of parents just stayed put as they aged, so we had to drop everything and drive hundreds of miles to help. Hang on, I'm not finished -

We always said we'd move when we were free and they were the ones navigating school and work schedules.

If we're going to do it, better now while we can build our own lives. We already have a place in Bellingham, so we would trade our house here for (probably) a small apartment near Santa Rosa, where our son is. So -

we are not starting from a blank slate, "gee, what's a nice place to move and what are the pros and cons?" We already know where we should be.

My dad moved down the block from us in his 80s and I swear he lived am extra 5 years because we were close.

But it's a big change to contemplate. We've been here since the 1970s.

It is a big move, but it sounds like all the piecs are mostly in place already. And you will still be able to travel back to the east coast to visit the people you have there.

heylisa : right. Instead of seeing our kids and grandchildren twice a year, I guess I'll see my sister and other friends and relatives twice a year.

That's about the way it shapes up. Will your other relatives and friends come visit you?

heylisa : 🤞🤞🤞🤞

heylisa : my sister will.

Ok, gotcha. Sounds like you’ve made up your minds. Now time to go house/condo/apartment shopping in Santa Rosa!

FREEarmStar🌟🎉 : right!

My in-laws did this. They had been living in ireland for forty years and came back to England to downsize and be by the grandkids. It was good for them, and I was forever in awe of how they would do that for their family. My own family wouldn't dream of it, and I wish they would. For everyone's sake.

My mum moved near us and she enjoyed seeing more of the grandkids. When she got dementia, I was able to take care of her until she needed a care home.

I really wish my parents had done that when I moved out here. I mean, my mom is only 30ish minutes away, but when there's an emergency, 30 minutes feels like forever. Especially when there's no guarantee that there is not a lot of traffic.

My grandmother lived next door and that's how she was able to live in her own home her entire life. I think it can bring a ton of peace of mind. I always wish my folks lived closer when I'm cooking Sunday dinner and have so many leftovers, too.

thaumata: yeah my mom lived across the driveway from me. It was great because I could take care of her. As she got worse, I even stayed in the bedroom next door to hers with a baby monitor on the nightstand.

Alicia ✿ : can they still move closer, or you and FH move closer to them? It’s such a comfort when they’re nearby.

FREEarmStar🌟🎉 FH and I don't want to move and at this point, my mom is not in the best of health or in the best financial situation to move out this way. But it's not too much more before we have to start thinking about a nursing home anyway, I think. lol So there's that.

Alicia ✿ :

When my father-in-law got cancer we spent most weekends commuting the 600 miles to be with him. I'm glad we did it, as he was like a father to me, but it was exhausting