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[misc chatter]
https://images.plurk.com/1KDAJTfUhmmqqDc4IQBBlW.jpg
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sung horror of our love at karaoke last night and asked vin to record it so i could share, it's uploading to yt now
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time for more gay KOTOR stream
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god, carth onasi would be a mess at ryslig
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canderous... would probably do okay, he'd find the fun
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hk-47 would definitely find the fun but hate being organic
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The_ARES_Network - Twitch
anyway if anyone wants to come chill
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Looped Planet of the Bass feat DJ Crazy Times, Ms Bi...
i have been listening to this for a solid hour and i have not been productive like i had hoped because i am just singing along on loop so i must purge the video from its tab and listen to SOMETHING ELSE
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still really happy with how the horror of our love came out at karaoke
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it's also just so -core
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time for sleep
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always very funny to me to stew on the fact that I'm younger than my most active of muses and yet i have almost always had more grey hairs than them (i think the only exceptions have been an OC and ford pines? who def have more grey hair)
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alan, 41, has some greys in his character model for the AWE dlc but not as many as me, who just turned 31 in june
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i almost immediately crashed after eating something earlier for the last two hours so i guess my body is still trying to level out my sleep debt
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i wanted to work on tags and art but body said nah
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awake now though so maybe...
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a little frustrated because i wanted to work on tags before taking a brief nap but i have spent the past 3.5 hours filling with anxiety whenever i look at tags for some reason and on top of that, my dominant arm hurts because improperly healed RSI from 3 years ago is acting up
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i have been stretching and massaging it out but it's annoying b/c it means i probably shouldn't do any drawing today
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was kind of hoping talking with people would at least mitigate the anxiety a bit but it has not really helped orz
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kind of want to try starting moon knight today, but it depends on what the flow of other plans are
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have been wanting to watch something new but haven't really been able to
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getting a little tired of the same media loop b/c they're safe to watch when multitasking
S̸C̴R̴A̸T̵C̴H̵
we can watch it
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>puts constantine on just as a different but still familiar media to the rotation
vin: i always forget how hot papa midnite is
me: i never forget. i am a s i m p
vin: as well you should be. look at him. that is a hot hot man
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https://imgs.plurk.com/QD2/NYF/6kXdMi50cK25L6chMLWv1fj9PCO_lg.jpg
S̸C̴R̴A̸T̵C̴H̵
look AT him
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absolutely disrespectful there aren't more images of him readily available without hunting for episode caps. no edits, barely any gifs, like COME ON
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he's incredible
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there's more content of midnite from the constantine movie with keanu reeves than there is midnite from the show (and i liked him in the movie too, i know people have mixed feelings about that movie but midnite was great)
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where's the LOVE
S̸C̴R̴A̸T̵C̴H̵
there isn't enough love for this show in general tbqh
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yeah....
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went down for a 1 hr nap because i was stressed, slept through my alarm and was down for almost 3 until vin woke me up for stream
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https://images.plurk.com/5Yh1Lpi2dsBaE7MWzwrWl3.png continuing to lose my mind
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you know, sometimes when i feel really insecure about my writing and feeling like it's not good enough to even consider trying to do anything on a professional level... it feels good to be reminded that writing like this exists in hollywood
https://images.plurk.com/3GSY5nHzzKOYtEKte21gLO.png
actual screenshot from the prometheus script
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the underlined "Goddamn, it is HOT" is killing me
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this is clearly written by a guy who watches the most basic porn
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idk what else to say
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like... that's all you have to say about the eroticism of the scene?
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https://images.plurk.com/58wGYfHuVoYblFj7M3Cmyu.png
CW ALIEN BUG/SNAKE ATTACK, HORROR
again... i shouldn't be made to feel so insecure about my writing since this is from the final script
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which is it like, a cobra or an anaconda?

also, both snakes, both unhinge their jaws. you didn't need to bring a different snake analogy into the picture
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i will forgive the wrong usage of it's when they meant its because i have made that typo before
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but again, all the dramatic underlines are so funny
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AND JESUS IT HAPPENS FAST
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this is research for how different scripts that have been produced into movies are written and formatted, and boy

is it illuminating
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i'm not allowed to feel bad about my writing ever again
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THIS SCRIPT WAS CO-WRITTEN BY ONE OF THE MAIN WRITERS FROM LOST AND THE GUY WHO WOULD LATER WRITE DOCTOR STRANGE AND DUNE???
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I SHOULD BE WRITING SCRIPTS FOR HOLLYWOOD what the hell
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S̸C̴R̴A̸T̵C̴H̵ pls behold this screaming with me
S̸C̴R̴A̸T̵C̴H̵
oh my FUCKING GOD
S̸C̴R̴A̸T̵C̴H̵
I CAN'T HANDLE GODDAMN IT IS HOT
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RIGHT???
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doing gorefest movie mode watchthrough of the quarry and just
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jacob... my himbo beloved...
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when the radio in your head finally turns off and you realize how absolutely silent your surroundings are
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feeling very deeply anxious and tired about my perception on familiarity and friendship and permissible levels of communication
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over time i've noticed a lot of layers of unspoken boundaries and tiers of online friendship and communication, especially in rp circles, and how people will be put off by people talking with an overly familiar tone when not being very close
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and the trouble with that, for me, is that to establish familiarity... you have to talk... and so i end up in this weird state of being like "okay how much is too informal, how much is too familiar, how much is acceptable, how much is appropriately casual, how much is too formal?"
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and i have been criticized so often as either being "too much" to the point of people ending friendships or being "too formal" to the point of being intimidating to talk to
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that i just...
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have withdrawn a lot, and it takes a lot of courage for me to reach out, and say things and not just delete and hide
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and it's easier to just speak in an open space to a non-specific mass
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and i don't message people first anymore if possible because i feel like i don't have permission
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and unless someone explicitly says that i am their friend, i do not think of others as my friend
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i see people simply as amiable acquaintance at most
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this has been haunting me for a while, especially in recent since... idk, i just feel like... i should maybe be talking to people and making rp plans and handwaving things more in 1v1 conversation
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but
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i don't feel allowed
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and i don't feel like i deserve people's time or efforts
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anyway
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i keep getting paralyzed during writing tags over the past week because i'm just... thinking about all this. thinking that i'm taking up too much space
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i keep trying to think "how can i do this in the most passive way possible while still being active enough for bonus activity"
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"how do i exist and write my character true to his experiences while being as unobtrusive as possible?"
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i just keep freezing up during most of my tags
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stuff that should take 5-10mins to write takes hours
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it's pretty bad
ɴɪɢʜ (ᴀɢᴀɪɴ)
I know I was venting about familiarity and stuff, and I just wanted to stress that you're absolutely excellent. You're a great writer and communicator, and I'm excited to get to know you better!
ɴɪɢʜ (ᴀɢᴀɪɴ)
I'm really sorry if I made you self-conscious. :-(
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it was partially a factor, but it's not the sole one in all this. thank you for your apology though. i appreciate it and you have my forgiveness.
ɴɪɢʜ (ᴀɢᴀɪɴ)
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it's supposed to be upwards of 90 today and our apartment is starting to warm up, which is making it hard to focus on anything, sigh
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dual wielding alien covenant on the tv and prometheus clips on the laptop to get back in the david voice zone
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https://images.plurk.com/1T5XUk99JFB1dP6CE57EgE.jpg https://images.plurk.com/1sM7jbU0fgDSwSPfrPjaLq.png makes myself an alan wake 2 plurk pic from this very dark and green trailer screenshot and now it's time for sleep
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it's kinda crunchy because of using the sharp filter vs the brush but o well because it's going to be tiny and mostly unnoticeable majority of the time
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