SundownWinter
Captcha Check So I got some Emotions writing this, and hoo boy

cw: emotions, bad childhood, and Bucky's backstory mostly
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Like, first of all, bucky has no digs on the friends he's made in Ryslig, he cares about them all and wouldn't trade them for anything
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but...yeah. he's never felt as though he could completely drop his guard with any of them, because he feels...incredibly inferior to people like Otto and Norman because thanks for not understanding different intelligence types, the 1940s
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And he's defensive of Steven and can't understand a lot of how Steven thinks, and kind of has the idea that Steven needs to be protected, which ain't healthy and Steven would rightly sock him in the eye over it
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And then there's all these KIDS
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which to Bucky is anyone under the age of 18, if you aren't 18 you're basically baby lol
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don't care if you were an adult at age 10 in your world, in his world, you're Baby
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again, not healthy, sock him in teye
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*the eye, holy fuck
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And Bucky would sooner chew off his other arm than dump problems on children in general, never mind the lot of actually really damaged kids he's wound up in the vicinity of
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And like...it's a whole life scenario, when you look at it
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Bucky was the older brother of three little sisters, so you just know that he was always keeping an eye on them
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Every part of canon shows that with Steve, Bucky is quick to rush in, protect his little buddy, etc., but when it comes time to admit to anything that might indicate Bucky is anything but Steve's Big Protector, he refuses to let it out
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The first part of Captain America TFA, Bucky's clearly got to take a minute to catch his breath and sort himself out before being all cocky and full of bravado over going off to war
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he can't even enjoy their freaking double date without having to run off after this tiny fool and make sure he's not getting dead
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He goes from being a tortured POW to jumping right back into fighting the exact people who kidnapped and experimented on him because he HAS to follow that little guy from Brooklyn and keep an eye on him and make sure he's okay
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He got blown out of the train because even though he just saw his superpowered best friend get shot into the ground, he STILL threw himself between Steve and the guy attacking him
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EVERY PART of Bucky is a protector, caregiver, and dedicates every aspect of himself to taking care of other people, and you never, anywhere, see the poor dude let down his walls and ever let on that he's anything but Ready To Go
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And somehow this Victorian era cat man shows up, and somehow this guy is...comfortable, and caring, and...maybe if Bucky lets the wall down just a little bit, it'd be okay...?
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And it IS, and he's...
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https://imgs.plurk.com/QD1/yed/QVP6BhgOYpcCz5Jzt2g35yKVrPi_lg.jpg
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and again bucky's been doing this to himself, whether he consciously realizes it or not
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this isn't on any of his loved ones because HE'S the dipshit who's like...parentified himself somehow IDK what to call it
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but shit maybe now that there's a first crack of realizing "oh, fuck, I need to let other people protect too" there's gonna be like...some progress or character development or something
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honestly from my own studies and from squinting at his character a little, bucky really DOES show all the signs of having been a parentified child, which...-gestures to a lot of context clues about how shitty his parents were-
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i can't PROVE it, but it sure smells funny
pirate goblin.
oh, I def get that vibe (not that I...am well-versed in any comics ever)
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yeah, tl;dr, bucky's had a long, hard, shitty ass life, and he is only just now in a place where MAYBE he can start to deal with that, and found someone he trusts to maybe be there while he deals with it without Bucky's brain screaming at him to stop burdening this person
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like: “People who were parentified may feel the need to help or rescue other people, choose partners or friends who are a bit helpless and swoop in to ‘fix’ them, become chronically overcommitted or enmeshed, or experience difficulties with implementing boundaries,”
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-wild gestures-
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and this is all BEFORE HYDRA set his brain on fire and made all of this a thousand times worse
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something something the supersoldier serum magnifies whatever you are into a hugely amplified version of that. Good becomes great, bad becomes worse, etc.
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Which could be why Bucky was the only Winter Soldier who didn't go batshit insane against his handlers, because even without the brainwashing, he was naturally inclined to be protective. All the washes did was make sure he forgot he SHOULDN'T be protective and helpful towards HYDRA
pirate goblin.
apologies if Ray decides to emotionally devastate him again later in explaining why she's mad/why she personally would not trust him, even though most of her reactivity is because of troll psych stuff and she'll be more flexible as a slime, she will...not be happy...
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cuz if his parents were as awful as expected...then the poor dude was already prepped to be willing to bow down to assholes to a degree
pirate goblin.
like I said, she is still definitely going to be thinking about stabbing him, even if she steps down from murder
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and yeah no, NGL Rachel has been a weird engima for Bucky and he can NOT figure her out
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because again, in his mind, Children Are Innocent, and she's the way she is because terrible people hurt her until she was that way and it's not her fault, so she shouldn't be held responsible for it
pirate goblin.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ she's just fucked up, bud
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and as he's said, he knows how close she is to the twins so even though he knows she doesn't think much of him, bucky considers her one of his, and...
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it's a perfect storm of fuck lol
pirate goblin.
it sure is!!!!
pirate goblin.
but yeah, um. Parental figures never really work out with her, don't take it personally.
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oh he was hurt and confused by Ray's lashing out but he also sort of isn't surprised by it lol
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The boys, on the other hand, well
pirate goblin.
I just imagined Bucky and Danny commiserating over WHY DOESN'T THIS CHILD LET ME MOTHER HER (yes they're both mom coded, deal with it) and dang,
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bucky is absolutely a mom and he will own it if pressed lol
pirate goblin.
Danny is not someone you want to have things in common with. On the other hand, please he desperately needs a friend.
December 10th
Donnie lashed out the worst, but that's cause he's horrible with emotions. so poor Bucky
pirate goblin.
Ray and Donnie continuing to Somehow Work Out
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again, much later, when this is patched up as best it can be, bucky is legitimately going to talk to Donnie about his ability to just CUT SOMEONE VERBALLY and tell him to work on using it against bad folks lol
December 10th
sadly it shall go away with Slime because as slime Donnie doesn't think as much, too much brain power going to form holding, so he just ends up saying what comes to mind.
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bucky: yeah well you apparently are observant enough to know exactly where to punch
December 10th
Donnie: well duh.
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bucky: useful skill, just sayin'
December 10th
Donnie: Yeah when you know the person. doesn't really work with strangers.
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bucky: wasn't it your own grandfather times 20 greats who was an armor monster
December 10th
Donnie: Yeah. And?
book of thot
cannot believe Sherlock Holmes came off as caring, Bucky you are so starved for ...... I don't even know what it is
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please pry the protector fixation out of his white knuckles
book of thot
he's working on it, because Bucky is frankly very protectable, and if everyone is throwing themselves in front of everyone else then no one's flying the plane
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put a calendar on the fridge and mark who's allowed to be the protective one that day
book of thot
sherlock holmes learned to work with a partner literally just in time, it was, what, a month and a half ago?
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sherlock: okay, working with people isn't the worst, i can -gets run over by emotions-
book of thot
my brain made a truck noise reading that
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