contemplating the unfortunate social interaction roulette in our circle wherein it's all text-based communication and large swaths of us have autism and/or adhd and/or anxiety/hypervigilance
>person A tries very hard to hide that they are upset about a thing related to person B because they don't want to have a confrontation or upset anyone or make anyone feel bad but then just give off unexplained negative energy so person B is like what is going on
>person A literally is not upset but maybe forgets something or something else innocuous and person B picks up on it as false flag negativity and lives in terror of what they did wrong
I AM PERSONALLY VERY BAD AT DEALING WITH "I FEEL LIKE THIS PERSON IS HAVING A PROBLEM BUT THEY HAVE NOT TOLD ME ANYTHING IS WRONG SO MAYBE I'M IMAGINING IT AND IF I BRING IT UP MAYBE I WILL CREATE AN ISSUE WHERE THERE LITERALLY WASN'T ONE PREVIOUSLY"
and I also worry a lot abt giving off negative energy/being hot and cold/whatever with ppl bc I do often have some brain fuckery getting in my way at random
i think to some degree this kinda shit happens in all groups, maybe not along those specific neurodivergencies as much but 'people not fucking understanding what someone else means to convey' and getting fussed about it and a big part of the specific stresses in this plurk is the
I always would like to talk things out directly and at length to make sure we are all clear and on the same page and I know what other ppl are thinking at any given time but that is NOT a thing everyone else is always equipped to do with me at any time
BY NO MEANS DO I MEAN LIKE "OUR CIRCLE IS UNIQUELY BAD." in fact I think in many ways we are way better at communicating than I observe among lots of normal people interactions.
IT'S TRICKSY i'm in the one basket where it's so much easier for me to have rl conversations, bc i rely on social cues and voice tone and expressions So Much, both interpreting and providing, and also it's just easier to discuss things in person (for me)
but voice-only communication isn't quite a substitute for that for me either... and also a 60-person voice call would delete me off the face of the planet
i have so much rl anxiety over speaking because i stuttter and stumble words a lot so i make up for it by having a lot of online anxiety over speaking by using 1923123 emotes and overcorrecting myse-
i think tone indicators for most social media is actually really helpful especially because a lot of people on the internet like to use sarcasm or joke about things in such a way that they can sound serious
the first person I ever blocked on twitter was someone whose profile I went to and as I scrolled through their tweets I observed that they tweeted literally opposite opinions in a joking tone regularly
in general i like to couch things that i'm saying with [this is what is going on in my brain and it's not a you thing it's a me thing] a lot because if i don't do that i'm terrified of being misunderstood
god i will also say, deeply unfortunately, sometimes it simply does not matter how many indicators someone couches their statements in because my brain will simply convince myself they're lying to appease me for (???????? some reason????????) so sometimes it's a game i can't even win no one can win
I fuckin hate when people have a problem and just won't say it, so if I have to be seen as aggro because I'm willing to go speak to the elephant in the room, I'm pretty much okay with that. It sucks when it pans out poorly, but even then, like... if people were uncomfortable around me, I don't want them putting themselves through that anyway.
it's difficult to incorporate those in irl speech but it's become more of a pattern in at least my corner of dwrp and it's funny every time in my very serious and professional opinion (i am not serious or a professional)
goddddd i used to get like really upset when someone would dunk on a character i liked, and then i found out like years YEARS later they were dunking on them affectionately because i didn't know them as a person and i was just looking in
at least when you're just talking to friends on the internet you can ask them what they mean, when you're looking at (a bunch of different people all saying shit all at the same time) it's so bad
like I know I'm guilty of being Person A sometimes but I've also been Person B but I've also been The Communicator only to receive disproportionate backlash which makes it harder not to be indirect and. phew.
it has the problem of for every person who says a thing sarcastically or as satire there is a good chance you have also run into like 5 people who said it entirely 100% unironically
sleeping lion
: funny sidenote I actually like. the examples were all disconnected examples in my head, like this is six separate unrelated people, and then as I was writing them up I was like oh no this sounds like I am framing two specific people in different interactions between those same two people
even if it was it would be OK cause I think all of the examples read as "everyone here is trying their best but communication is hard" and not as shitting on anyone
i make a mental difference between tone tags (derogatory) and parenthetical disambiguation (readable)(potentially helpful)(less likely to be misconstrued)(much funnier)
"is this real? (genuine question) (can't tell) (very realistic) (looks real) (scary) (photoshop?)"is truly the bestoh no this sounds like I am framing two specific people in different interactions between those same two peoplebecause it's "positive", this is a good thing