LiberBEARian
[family shit] hey how much do I not want to go to this fuck-off wedding raise your bets
LiberBEARian
I just had to sit on the phone with my mom
LiberBEARian
complaining about and to my aunt
LiberBEARian
about fucking formal attire.
LiberBEARian
again
LiberBEARian
Mom has (no lie) tried six outfits she owned to date in front of my aunt
LiberBEARian
and my aunt rejected each one on the basis that the bride wouldn't consider them formal enough and that "she has a vision"
LiberBEARian
and I went from laughing to being pissed off because at last count I'm the one spending $$$ to get there. I got us the hotel. I booked the pets with a sitter. I bought MY outfit and my MOM'S outfit
LiberBEARian
and it came in the mail and my mom (who picked it OUT) loved it and I got it for her for a mother's day gift
LiberBEARian
and my aunt rejected it as "not formal enough"
LiberBEARian
My aunt is also flipping out. She had a gorgeous outfit. She tried it on in front of my most stylish and up-to-date cousins who gave their seal of approval (already hard to get). She tried it in front of her son, the groom. Approval.
LiberBEARian
Bride didn't like it.
LiberBEARian
Meanwhile I'm in tears because I don't even know if I can make it up there. I freaked out at my mom over the phone saying "I don't care, I don't care, I just want to heal, stop giving me shit to do" over and over until I had a panic attack
LiberBEARian
I'm not even sure if I can bear weight on this leg enough to walk up stairs
LiberBEARian
My sister in law can't even go because they don't have vegan options for her
LiberBEARian
My mom keeps changing the hotel arrangements. I got a hotel room (for ME for the wheelchair if I NEED IT) and an air bnb on the offchance I could do it
LiberBEARian
Mom wants a bathroom to herself. So she told my aunt she was taking the hotel room by herself and me, my brother, and my husband are sharing the air bnb
LiberBEARian
I flipped out at her over the phone
LiberBEARian
because this is the first I'm hearing that my brother is even STAYING WITH ME
LiberBEARian
https://images.plurk.com/5P5pAFd60mq2cfsLQJUHju.png <-the dress my mom was planning on wearing, btw
LiberBEARian
before my fucking aunt rejected it
LiberBEARian
I don't fucking want to hear anything from any of my relatives. I'm so fucking done.
LiberBEARian
Not my mom. Not my aunts. Not my cousins. Not my brother, not my husband, no one. I just want to focus on getting my leg back in working order. Everyone go piss off.
LiberBEARian
I was doing really good until I learned today that 'partial load bearing' still means 'probably can't do stairs'
LiberBEARian
and the airbnb has stairs
bluecanary
Put your foot down with your mom.
bluecanary
Fuck it, let me do it.
bluecanary
You need wheelchair access.
bluecanary
This is not a question
bluecanary
This is not a choice.
bluecanary
This is required.
LiberBEARian
I had a really loud cry until she caught on and had to calm me down for once.
LiberBEARian
and told me to focus on getting better
LiberBEARian
and she would handle it. Something I wish she would have done in the beginning but I told her "everyone needs to stop Bad News Bearing me and the fucking off to parts unknown because I don't have the benefit of getting outside and releasing my feelings, I am stuck in one room without sunlight."
spooky queer
yeah you need them all to go away.
spooky queer
i support crying loudly
LiberBEARian
oh wait and it's an outdoor wedding.
LiberBEARian
So I really can't get a wheelchair there anyway
LiberBEARian
Maybe I'll hang out in the bar and drink instead
LiberBEARian
My aunt keeps going on and on about how "the family needs a good day" and she is stressing me the fuck out to where I don't want to go anymore
spooky queer
a good day for you would be not being around her
pharadyne
this wedding doesn't sound like a good day for anyone except maybe the bridezilla
Ptriciadactyl
this is ridiculous and does not sound fun AT ALL
Ptriciadactyl
I wouldn't want to go either
3D🌺triangle.
They can fuck all the way off. "Not formal enough" "the bride has a vision"
garfs per min
if the bride has a vision, then the bride can pay for everyone's clothingf
bluecanary
imo dont go
Airdra
"the bride has a vision" is usually code for "the bride is the most unreasonable human being you've ever had the misfortune of dealing with"
Airdra
I mean that alone is bad enough, and then all your legitimate medical concerns, I'd bail and lean heavily (figuratively speaking) on the leg
pharadyne
tbh, i have refused to go to a wedding before on account of a bride's clothing demands.
LiberBEARian
oh hey just got my period. no wonder I'm so freaking stressed out
garfs per min
ah
Shan-aconda
1. This is toxic af, and you need an air bnb to finish healing and only tell hubs where you are.
2. Tell your mom to say fuck you and wear the fucking fabulous pretty dress
Shan-aconda
3. Don't go to the fucking wedding, get your ass an air bb and drink wine and croche
spooky queer
yes roll away to the woods
𝔽𝕊𝕆𝕋𝕌𝕊𝕊𝕐
okay 1. unless you are in the wedding party, why the fuck does the bride get to care if your dress is "formal enough" unless like you're being a dick and wearing gym shorts and a tank top on purpose or something. that's unreasonable and dumb.
2. take care of yourself, honey. "I cannot walk" is a pretty damn good reason to not go to a wedding
𝔽𝕊𝕆𝕋𝕌𝕊𝕊𝕐
lean into that if you do not want to go
LiberBEARian
https://images.plurk.com/dkLeruaTCmGzIkbJdb6jo.png Yeah I can't get a wheelchair or crutches down that way.
𝔽𝕊𝕆𝕋𝕌𝕊𝕊𝕐
nope fuck that shit
LiberBEARian
I might just hang in the barn with the caterers, at least that's wheelchair / crutches friendly.
LiberBEARian
Because I would be on a walker/crutches even if I am not in the chair
𝔽𝕊𝕆𝕋𝕌𝕊𝕊𝕐
honestly do yourself a favor and bring the chair
spooky queer
do you even know the bride
LiberBEARian
Yeah I do
LiberBEARian
and yeah I will
spooky queer
you could reach out to her
LiberBEARian
I might just reach out to my cousin who's the groom and go "hey I checked the venue out online and I can't get a wheelchair down there/can't manipulate crutches on grass. I'mma hang in the barn because it looks like the road to that is paved"
spooky queer
legit
𝔽𝕊𝕆𝕋𝕌𝕊𝕊𝕐
that sounds very reasonable
LiberBEARian
I also would be way more comfortable. like 100% more comfortable
LiberBEARian
don't force my chair down a grass hill
LiberBEARian
for fuck's sake
Jay
oh fuck all of this, fucking bridezilla and your god damn family
Jay
that dress you got your mom is GORGEOUS, and I suggest skipping out on the whole thing and getting yourself a week in a wheelchair accessible air bnb somewhere nice away from all these assholes instead >.<
𝔽𝕊𝕆𝕋𝕌𝕊𝕊𝕐
^^tbh Jay has the right idea
Jay
groundfloor, rollout to somewhere with a nice view, good restaurants that deliver, fuck everyone off for a bit
LiberBEARian
legiiiit
 HEROphelia 
Also, you don’t get to do black tie and outdoor wedding in a fucking field. Who does that? That’s not normal.
 HEROphelia 
Not that the field doesn’t look lovely. It’s very nice looking field. But you cannot expect people to be decked out in formal attire that you would see at the fucking plaza or something in a fucking field.
Lady Stardust
everyone is right
Lady Stardust
also what the fuck
Lady Stardust
i'm on team run away to the woods and heal in a safe place none of your family know about
SPOILER ALERT
the bride needs to fuck off
bluecanary
i am on team block everyone on your phone yeah
SPOILER ALERT
everyone needs to fuck off, actually
mingy patingy
how the fuck are people supposed to do formal wear in a fucking field? do they expect people to aerate the lawn with their high heels?
mingy patingy
agreed. fuck this bridezilla
Ptriciadactyl
I remember nearly falling down a hill at my childhood best friend's wedding, because I bought my shoes before realizing the outdoor venue HAD a hill
Ptriciadactyl
bridesmaid tumbling down the hill because she foolishly wore heels would admittedly have been a little funny after the fact, but it would have hurt first.
𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗲𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝘅𝗼𝗻
you couldn't pay me to attend the wedding of a cousin (I have 3 married cousins, went to zero weddings) let alone one determined to make every guest's life a living hell
𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗲𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝘅𝗼𝗻
I'm once again shocked by what is being demanded of you, I cannot stress enough that none of this should be your responsibility right now
𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗲𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝘅𝗼𝗻
please respect yourself as much as you respect your unreasonable family and just bow out
Ptriciadactyl
I just looked up pictures from that wedding, and they're a little surreal because I was super thin with long hair and no glasses, but more importantly, look how bad these shoes were for an outdoor wedding!!! https://images.plurk.com/RwTHQRrhJm1BFnr7iI5qs.png
Ptriciadactyl
(to be fair to my friend, she didn't choose the shoes, only told me to buy silver ones, but she also didn't give me a full venue description before I bought them)
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
those are ADORABLE shoes and SO BAD FOR GRASS
SPOILER ALERT
yeah I did outdoor but I'm pretty sure the aisle was paved
SPOILER ALERT
this, like so many things in your life lately, makes me so angry
SPOILER ALERT
Bridezilla is not a mysterious phenomenon that happens to perfectly normal, nice people. Bridezilla is what happens when people excuse your shitty behavior because you're getting married
SPOILER ALERT
a wedding is only as stressful as you make it. you are literally planning the event. the schedule is 100% self-imposed
Ptriciadactyl
event planning is inherently stressful, but that's not an excuse for making everyone around you miserable
Ptriciadactyl
("event planning is inherently stressful," I say, as an... event planner for a nonprofit. time to question my life choices)
SPOILER ALERT
with a wedding especially, you can just. not
SPOILER ALERT
stressing out for months because you want a perfect wedding is a valid life choice. being an ass about it is not
bluecanary
As always, I am going to volunteer to suddenly have a horrific crisis that needs your immediate attention to excuse you not going
bluecanary
give me a phone number and a time and i will scream and cry into it until you absolutely need to be a good friend and help me
bluecanary
and then you will leave and i will hang up and you can sit and have a quiet afternoon in
bluecanary
Lying is a survival tool
LiberBEARian
At this point yeah
LiberBEARian
I'm gonna float the idea to my mom that the place isn't wheelchair accessible but the reception is. I half expect everyone to flip out at me because they'll probably be taking pictures out there too
spooky queer
ask them if being in a wheelchair will fit with the bride's vision or if it needs to be a gold wheelchair >>
spooky queer
not formal enough
Ms Properpants
What is it about "I have a broken leg and can't attend if the venue isn't wheelchair-accessible" that's hard to understand?
Airdra
It's like they think you're not trying hard enough to heal a broken leg specifically to spite them personally
Airdra
Which is stupid but here we are
Ms Properpants
It's 100% okay to not attend for that reason. Imagine if your wheelchair tips over, or you fall with the crutches - if unlucky, that'll mess with the healing process.
SPOILER ALERT
if lucky, it'll be miserable, painful, probably require dry-cleaning, and mess up the bride's ~vision~
Ms Properpants
(As someone who sometimes went "bah, I can hop one-legged this short distance" and twice ended up stepping down on my broken leg - luckily I was at least in a boot - the pain of doing so is brutal.)
Ms Properpants
SPOILER ALERT : Very much agreed.
bluecanary
the bride's vision is not your problem
bluecanary
its the bride's problem
bluecanary
she can solve it
LiberBEARian
I think
LiberBEARian
I want to wear a suit to the wedding
LiberBEARian
but I want to wear a black tie instead of the blue one
LiberBEARian
and I want Sergio to match and we just go as Jake and Elwood Blues
LiberBEARian
and just cosplay it
LiberBEARian
I think that would be my plan to get through this
Airdra
that would be spectacular
LiberBEARian
you think I can get hair and make-up lady to paint on some sideburns and give me some knuckle tattoos
spooky queer
but allison the vision
spooky queer
the pearls that will be clutched
bluecanary
blind the bride
bluecanary
roll up in a bowling shirt
LiberBEARian
god would I ever want to
LiberBEARian
I ordered some dark shades. I think we have everything except a couple of black ties and hats
𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗲𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝘅𝗼𝗻
harmonica required
 HEROphelia 
I say this with exactly as much respect as she is due. Fuck her vision. She can set some parameters, she can’t take away free will. This goes way beyond making sure no one shows up in jeans and crocs.
coochie scarf
like, no shade to anyone uninvolved but why are so many brides like this
coochie scarf
more than half of them will be doing it all again in five years anyway
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