Small-time venting but I've hit this rut in playing a few of the muses I really love.

I'm pretty sure it's just RSD running rampant but there is this strong urge to outright delete one of my journals because it feels like if I poke my head into anything that catches my interest that someone else is talking about plotting, it's either going to be met with the lukewarm 'oh you like this? that's nice' and no actual, sincere interest

and enough of the others have gone stagnant that I hesitate to try and jog them anymore

Hi welcome to the worst club ever

we've got jackets

I just, don't play Jonathan anymore because it feels like there's a chorus of "ew no" that follows whenever I bring him up in anything more than a spitballing goes-nowhere capacity

I'm still open to things we've discussed, just FYI

I WANT ALL YOUR PEOPLE ALL THE TIME

I hesitate to tag out with Wayne to new people because of the same "oh huh" that never really feels like it's actually...wanted? In the moment? It's hard to explain when even though people have been enthusiastically accepting of him, the threads themselves don't feel like they're what someone actually wants.

Larry gets no play and his canon is so small and niche that I'm not actually surprised

It's the whole, not feeling like someone's first choice

I think I'm just gonna focus on maintaining my existing CR and not pursue new CR for a while

Man, being the backup sucks, especially when no one will admit that that's what they're doing

I need to actually get up the gumption to tag back the things we have planned. I've had the thing with Elle up for....god, since you tagged me

I know I say it quite a bit but sometimes it's just so deeply discouraging

and that affects my ability to write overall

/gentle turtle facepaps
I getchu dude, and seriously, no rush ever. I know these feels too well

;-; I'm sorry it feels like that for you

swaddles u and brings u close

Man I feel this feel so much

I want to play with all the people

for the record I am obsessed with Wayne. A hundred percent on the Wayne Train.

Wayne's super cool tho

wayne train

better than Blaine the Train jussayin'

I think what a lot of it boils down to is this feedback look that I've found myself in that's like

i wanna play this character > character gets no play on memes/gets ignored at attempted tag outs > maybe i'll have better luck elsewhere > gets ignored/nah'd/plotted-then-nothing'd > discouraged from trying again > just doesn't play character > i miss them again

ad infinitum

and it leeches into everything else I have going on bc partitioning feelings like that is hard

and I don't wanna stretch myself too thin and get burnt out

but at the same time I crave the interaction

it's a big stupid problem.

That’s a mood

I’ve had people that get ignored forever

Even though I am doing terribly with plot heavy prose heavy anything rn despite my best trying bc ugh life if you ever wanna throw literally anyone at tfln shittery I can make it work, Will has made friends with Majima, an Xmen character and Loki on it and I love writing with you so I’m always down 🖤