[RL/Venting/Mute]

Jesus christ I am so done

literally the only thing I want is financial stability, Fuck if that's gonna happen

I've been trying for months. My car crapping out just made this harder and now I have to either spend into my savings in order to get to and from work or I walk up a steep hill in the dark and cold and ice for 1km to get to the nearest bus stop.

this is such bullshit

If I don't get full time hours, mom won't let me borrow her car (fair, I have to be able to afford it). I am going to email HR tomorrow to see if I can either be crosstrained for multiple departments or ask to be transferred to a more transit-friendly location so I can get to work without paying fucking $200 PER WEEK just to get to work

I'm already frustrated with myself because I have no idea where the hell my pack of remaining bus tickets went, I forgot my water bottle at home when I went to work today so I was getting freaking dehydrated, and I'm just so stressed because being an adult trying to support yourself by yourself and just being unable to is stressful as all fuck

I just want to be able to pay my goddamn bills man

good news, found the bus tickets at least

oh and also I wanted to order delivery from a specialty food store because why not only they don't accept visa debit and I don't have a credit card right now

and the only other option is instacart which is A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT MORE EXPENSIVE like $94 directly from the vendor vs. likely around $120

or more

it is fucking $60 more expensive WTF

okay. you know what. No. I'll order it tomorrow after buying a prepaid visa because fuck it it'll actually be cheaper even after the prepaid visa's activation fee

there is at least a gas station within walking distance of my workplace so I can have the cab drop me off there instead

I just want to not be super stressed out and it feels like that's too much to ask

(granted a part of instacart being more expensive is that the vendor has sale prices until Wednesday, that said instacart is still $3-$5 more expensive per product on a normal day so yeah fuck that)

OKAY. Going to actually get some food because I'm super hungry and that's probably contributing to my volatile mood r/n

the prepaid credit card doesn't work I WOULDN'T BE THIS UPSET OVER IT IF I DIDN'T KNOW THE SALE WASN'T GONNA LAST LONG

maybe if I call the store tomorrow and do this over the phone? maybe? if they're cool about it??

I asked a favour of a friend to give me a lift there and back and it helps so much ;;