The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck

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"Fame and success didn't make him a better person, nor was it by becoming a better person that he became famous and successful. Self-improvement and success often occur together, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're the same thing."

"This fixation on the positive - on what's better, what's superior - only serves to remind us over and over again of what we are not, of what we lack of..."

"...the problem is that giving too many fucks is bad for your mental health. It causes you to become overly attached to the superficial and fake, to dedicate your life to chasing a mirage of happiness and satisfaction."

"The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience."

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."

"Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering."

"These moments of non-fuckery of the moments that most define our lives... To not give a fuck is to stare down life's most terrifying and difficult challenges and still take action."

"...if you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice - well, then you're going to get fucked...when you give a fuck about everyone and everything - you will feel that...everything is supposed to be just exactly the fucking way you want it to be."

"...here's a sneaky truth about life, there's no such thing as not giving a fuck. You must give a fuck about something. It's part of our biology to always care about something and therefore to always give a fuck."

"You can't be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and an embarrassment to others. You just can't."

"...when a person has no problems, the mind automatically finds a way to invent some. I think what most people...consider "life problems" are really just side effects of not having anything more important to worry about."

"...this is what's so dangerous about a society that coddles itself more and more from the inevitable discomforts of life: we lose the benefits of experiencing healthy doses of pain, a loss that disconnects us from the reality of the world around us."

"The solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one... Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded."

"...the solution lies in the acceptance and active engagement of that negative experience - not the avoidance of it, not the salvation from it."

"What is the pain that you want to sustain? That's the hard question that matters... It's what makes me, me, and you, you."

"...it's a never-ending upward spiral. And if you think at any point you're allowed to stop climbing, I'm afraid you're missing the point. Because the joy is in the climb itself."

"The vast majority of life is unextraordinary, indeed quite average. This flood of extreme information has conditioned us to believe that exceptionalism is the new normal... So more and more we feel the need to compensate through entitlement and addiction."

"Self-awareness is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you're going to start crying at inappropriate times."

"When we feel that we're choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon us against our will, we feel victimised and miserable."

"Growth is an endlessly iterative process... We are always in the process of approaching truth and perfection without actually ever reaching truth or perfection...we should seek to chip away at the ways that we're wrong today..."

"Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is for certain until it has already happened... That's why accepting the inevitable imperfections of our values is necessary for any growth to take place."

"Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you've failed at something... We can be truly successful only at something we're willing to fail at."

"...fear and anxiety and sadness are not necessarily always undesirable or unhelpful states of mind; rather, they are often representative of the necessary pain of psychological growth. And to deny that pain is to deny our own potential."

"If you're stuck on a problem, don't sit there and think about it; just start working on it. Even if you don't know what you're doing, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head."

"If you make a sacrifice for someone you care about, it needs to be because you want to, not because you feel obligated or because you fear the consequences of not doing so... Acts of love are valid only if they're performed without conditions or expectations."

"Without conflict, there can be no trust. Conflict exists to show us who is there for us unconditionally and who is just there for the benefits. No one trusts a yes-man."

"Trust is like a china plate. If you break it once, with some care and attention you can put it back together again. But if you break it again, it splits into even more pieces...eventually it shatters to the point where it's impossible to restore."

"...pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the opportunity to experience the rewards of depth of experience...commitment, in its own way, offers a wealth of opportunity and experiences... When you're pursuing a wide breath of experience, there are diminishing returns...that there is a freedom and liberation in commitment."