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[meme] and now before I spiral about work things and job hunts, rolling a bunch into one!
romantic state of the rp, ages, and bc of fr chat, heights
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starting with ardyn: he's 6'5 I will not hear the (official) slander of him being any shorter than that. I will almost always go with official stuff before anything else, especially if we only have game graphics to go off of, BUT
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that bitch is. ridiculously tall in the game. it's hard to tell in kingsglaive bc he's not actually in it very much and even less is he beside someone and even less is he beside someone at an angle where you can figure out relative heights
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but in the game he is VERY tall
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he is taller than everyone. EXCEPT. for gladio.
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canon says gladio is 6'6. ardyn is not quite as tall as gladio's model when he's standing more or less straight. motherfucker slouches like a millennial, he is always slouching or leaning on a leg with a hip jut or something but he is most likely just a smidge shorter than gladio
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I think we as a fandom have all basically collectively agreed that saying he's 6'2 is absolute nonsense /fingerguns everywhere
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he's 2033 actual years old bc jrpgs love their jesus figures and their christian iconography so he was jesus years old when he got shoved in a stone prison for 2k years
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and in cancry he is in a polycule with ignis and orthrus as like. the oldest and dadliest members of the game, mostly
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We Will See How Long That Lasts
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he's still baffled that ignis would ever but does appreciate it, and he loves a big doggo beast <3
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mobius as my other character in a game is 5'11 and 52, bc it's easier to choose stuff that's already true of your pb/canonical actor. no I have not chosen a birthday for him but it will probably not be owen wilson's birthday
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else he'd already be 53
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he actually might be bc the date that's in my head is actually valentine's day, which is entirely bc of a psl for funsies, but
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what I really need to do is sit with some zodiac sign research which hoof I haven't done in a while. frankly a bitch might be a libra but who knows
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romantically so far there is nobody, but he's gone on a date with loki, gone on a date with sylvie, is starting to flirt back with astarion (but does not actually plan on that going anywhere, if he thinks about it it'll probably just be a fun thing they do back and forth than An Actual Thing), and frankly I could see a thing with jude happening
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(I HAVE JUST REMEMBERED THAT HE NEEDS TO ASK ELLIE ABOUT HEY JUDE)
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like it probably won't but like I also could very easily see a thing with jude
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but not currently
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he has not considered the personal internal ramifications of falling for a rifter. actually. like sleeping with, no problem, no big deal. romance is. not something. that he's considered and that might be weird given he sees them as actual holy heralds of andraste. but also I don't think romance is something he's considered much period?
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it's discouraged with templars so he had a lot of fun sexy flings in closets and empty offices and shit but love is. like. foreign. so. that's interesting.
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I don't think he's aro, I just think he's spent most of his life in an environment where love and romance were not things that were viable options
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...anyway I don't have anyone else in a game rn so now you just get some of my personal faves or mains so Deal With It
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church is [static noises] years old and 6' solid and I haven't played him in a while so no romances for him, but, I mean, I will always have a part of my heart dedicated to chardyn lbh
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malcolm is anywhere between early 30's to somewhere in his 40's depending on when I feel like playing him and 5'8, and same thing as church but I will always have soft squishy parts for malcolm/jack and malcolm/york
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clint is Too Old For This Shit, like genuinely he's probably hit 50/is in his early 50s by now. yes I need to update my muselist, shh. he's been married for a long time and will stay married until his inevitably messy death the end, but also I've got several memes and psls with loki bc I love messy horrible fucked up shit like that
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frankly I could ship him with most of the avengers, I just make it a point that like. unless it's an au or something. he's been married for longer than he's known any of them. but poly is always a nice option.
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I mean [motions to nat] look it took me a while to come around to this ship bc I tend to be allergic to popular fandom ships and I always prefer them to be ride or die bffs I think maybe bc as an aro I get very tired of 'here is a man and a woman who are Very Close, therefore they are In Love'
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but like I can dig that in a messy way
A Dracula
I could see clint being open to like a "work bf/gf" arrangement where everyone knows and respects he's always going home to his wife and kids
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I cannot ship him with kate or wanda bc I am kind of squicked by teacher(mentor)/student(mentee) ship dynamics
A Dracula
no he's kate's new dad
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and also kate's a baby and wanda's got/had viz and he's not fucking with either of that
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right! you get it! I'm down with that shit! he's allowed to have casual work shit that's cozy while he spends weeks/months out there not at home! laura was an agent, she'd get it, he always comes home to her
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he's kate's new dad and he loves all four of his kids. wanda's too old to be one of his kids but she's like kind of honorary kid in that regard
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marc/steven(/jake) is 37 or 38 bc I swear the wiki said mk takes place spring 2025 and then changed to mid-2024, but to be fair I don't think anyone knows I think we're just making things up
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personally I've been working off the idea that the shows take place chronologically after one another, which would make anything after hawkeye into 2025. like. nwh was 2024 and ends sometime december 2024 bc the tree is still up so the last episode hasn't happened yet--
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anyway I haven't seen ms marvel yet, I know, I need to fix that pronto
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so idk if anyone knows when that takes place
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and the other other other thing about mk is that it makes zero overt references to the greater mcu. none. nobody mentions the snap or the blip, nobody mentions any other heroes, it literally genuinely stands on its own; you do not have to know anything about marvel at all to watch mk. you could fucking slide it in anywhere and it would work.
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anyway like malcolm he's 5'8 bc he sacrificed some height for booty and I think that's very sexy of oscar isaac
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romantically who tf knows we don't even know if marc and layla are still married or went thru the divorce or anything
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but as a filthy selfcester I am here for shipping all the moonboys, and also layla, bc Get You A Man Who Looks At You The Way Steven Looks At Layla holy shit
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in my heart it's a triad with Marc, Steven, and Layla
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you can't convince me ot3 isn't canon, frankly. layla obviously loves them both, they both love layla and why wouldn't you, and what's more romantic than giving up literal heaven to rescue or otherwise be with someone
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as an aside, I can't get into any shipping fics that involve marc or jake (or layla!) shortening steven's name. nicknames are fine, that's cute, but if by name you call him anything but steven then I'm already super out bc you were not paying any attention to the show. it's a big deal. I could ted talk about steven and identity okay bye
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uhhhh who else do I want to do
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kaiba is 6'1, 18, and a big fucking mess
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who will always in his heart of hearts love a long-dead pharaoh, but like, akira's pretty good too he guesses
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(he smooched a boy in dead florida while learning how to surf bc he was trying very hard to allow himself to be a teenager and that gives me Lots And Lots Of Feelings)
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let kaiba be a teenager
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shadow is whatever age you want sonic to be, plus 50 years in cryo that may or may not count depending on how you feel about cryo, and 3'3, and his romance is usually set to No
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(it's sonic, but also, it's No)
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aaaand that's all the big ones so if anyone wants anyone else off my muselist just say so
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actually nobody asked but it amuses the absolute shit out of me, that harry dresden is. canonically. like finally we got an actual number of an answer to this question as of Peace Talks. 6'9. (nice)
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
learning to surf thats so fuckin cute
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
also you're right about the moon knight triad that's just canon
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what are you going to do in florida! besides teach everyone how to play duel monsters! (which he also did)
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
I can't believe they both did this in their games

atem realized, after a full year in the game, that he needed to get out of his own head. and beat twewy, his Jounouchi replacement goldfish, taught him how to board
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
(the arc-vs are the ones teaching everyone duel monsters but atem has picked it up as a hobby)
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
(for fun!!)
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
let these fucked up kids who grew up too fast be teens
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being supposedly dead let kaiba like. learn and grow. failing at something new (in front of his boyfriend anyway) is fine! because he's. having fun? just. for the sake of fun?
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
yes!!!!!!
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he's wearing jeans?
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he's playing a game for fun?
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
fucking bless
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
good for him
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akira p5 runs the absolute most annoying and difficult to counter kind of decks and kaiba could not be prouder
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
respect
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he also has a little sister that he will eternally be teaching how to be a real human person with normal human feelings and reasons to exist besides living for Just One Single Person and turning the world into a paradise for him
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
also good
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
proud as hell of him
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manaka absolutely pointing out that her love of saber and his love of pharaoh are in some ways very fucking similar and dealing a lot of psychic damage was good unexpected shit
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anyway wild how shared trauma and copious amounts of painkillers helps a budding romance along
𓄤𓆑𓂋𓅱𓏭𓄖𓎡𓏭
suffering settings hit different
ᴬ⭐ᴵᴼᴺ
woah woah how did I miss the date with Sylvie, damn Mobius get it tho
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thaaaat was here, they had decided to do drinks and tbh that's a date baybeeeee
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honestly aren't all lokis predisposed toward mobiuses. mobii.
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as a sidenote, and I've talked about this before, but like. it is endlessly entertaining to me that there's a sliding scale of owen wilson attractivity and it seems to hinge primarily on his hair
Tᴀᴛᴇʀs.
lmfao if it were anybody for Jude in Thedas it would be Mobius lbr
Tᴀᴛᴇʀs.
He fully imprinted on the dude like a duckling upon arrival like hi hello, you're my human now
Tᴀᴛᴇʀs.
and also holy fuck please ask her to play Hey Jude because she 100% knows it
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HE WILL ASK HER ABOUT JUDE AS A SONG I JUST FORGOT ABOUT THAT BUT IT WILL HAPPEN
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also yes good good giant toothy duckling he will get all the good pets and good scritches and good full body flops and hugs
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he will nap on a big warm woof when it's cooler and you know what, why not nap on big warm human too
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