[DM life] last night I had the party of space pirates undertake a job from the lizard folk yakuza group called The Komodos where they had to infiltrate a rival family’s operation of selling black market magic items by posing as potential clients. They had to attend a host club where they would receive a hint on where to meet the supplier from a host

They got to choose one of three hosts and they chose, wait for it

A brooding, dark haired elf by the name of /checks notes

Vaydark Ravenbeam

And it was exactly as dramatic as you’d expect

Hi everyone how is your day going

taserface

There is no taserface yet

Naturally, Vaydark Ravenbeam was the pinnacle of charm, spoke at length of how he could never walk amongst the children of the life and his soul is just, so deep you guys

Deep like the void of space

did someone pants him

can i pants him

Of which is clients are like the tiny pinpricks of startlight in his otherwise vanta-like existence

His**

WATERING CAN'T kept casting prestidigitation to fuck with his magic effects

i hate him

Because he was bored and also a complete and total shitlord

You fucking loved him don’t lie

i will ignite him

pants him

i'll ignite him then i'll pants him then i'll ignite his pants

He is a good boy just doing his job

Now if he acts like that outside work by all means pants him

Vaydark was a consummate gentleman

I cannot believe how majestically he handled all of Zellias' bullshit