Gaslighting is not lying or just manipulation, it is about DOUBT. It is using every possible means to make the victim doubt themselves, to doubt their perception of reality.
Think that "You know" or "this is so obvious, everyone knows [x]" is gaslighting, because they think it's about NOT doubting the person saying it. It is not. That is not gaslighting. It's almost the opposite, because it is trying to get you to reference your own memories, knowledge and experience.
Gaslighting breaks all of that down, saying you DON'T know ANYTHING. You can't know anything, because you aren't that smart, you aren't everywhere at once, you can never really know what's going on in someone else's head etc.
When you start to doubt your perception of reality, you are going to NATURALLY ask others for help with objectivity. ie: What did YOU see/hear? What is the truth?
You shouldn't just "Listen and believe" because abusers will ALWAYS ALWAYS try to get the upper hand to be the first to accuse! People have a gut reaction to double down on what they first heard/first believed. It's excruciatingly painful to go through the work of "aw shit not only was I fooled, but I did bad things that I KNEW were wrong, but I was just so
darn motivated emotionally that I thought it was for a good cause, and now I know it wasn't at all." and to rethink their preconceived notions. I would argue this is where almost all of AH's "supporters" are still coming from tbfh. And I've been there before (with ZQ)
The idea of believing victims is because in circumstances where the two people are alone, the victim is the one who is going to have their trust abused, so they're not going to have readily available proof of violence. Furthermore, an experienced abuser will be able to usually mitigate any public evidence. (See also: Erin Pizzey's book "Scream Quietly or th
To Nick Rekeita's credit, I had a much more kneejerk reaction of "don't believe anyone of anything" since my abuser is such a talented con artist I've seen them convince people of really really insane outlandish shit (that makes AH look small time indeed)
But as he rightfully pointed out, it's not about the listener. It's about the person admitting (or even claiming) something bad has happened. It's not the time or place to find evidence or poke holes. It's about the emotional healing that NEEDS to take place. And even with abusers like AH/my abuser; listening and believing -- NOT TAKING ACTION UPON THAT
[I have straight up been the worst person to confess abuse to, like I feel really bad if you feel the need to tell me about your abuse, because in the past I was like "ARE YOU SURE THOUGH?" and even now I still have to work REALLY hard on it!]
Amber Heard is a psychopath -- a seperate video \\ Mention the dogs thing Psychos can't accept negative consequences as even an inevitability. It is very much a "I just won't get caught because I'm special."
so she had a filmed depo, but the judge was very un-keen on admitting that and apparently after the obviously lying stairways bullshit story, -- it looks like whitney or at minimum, her lawyer's depo might be entered on Depp's side lol
Psychos can't accept negative consequences as even an inevitability. It is very much a "I just won't get caught because I'm special."