Quinneapolis
Pitch me a horror movie, but the pitch has to be one sentence, of the structure "What if ___ was evil and could kill you"
Quinneapolis
currently watching Chambers, which is "What if a transplanted heart was evil and could kill you"
Quinneapolis
Christine: What if a car was evil and could kill you
Quinneapolis
The Shed: What if a shed was evil and could kill you
Quinneapolis
A weirdly large number of movies: What if Santa was evil and could kill you
Quinneapolis
what hasn't been evil and murdery in a movie yet
pixie lovemail
"What if a library was evil and could kill you"
Doctor Ansem
Vacuum Cleaner
Doctor Ansem
Smoke Detector
Quinneapolis
I'm surprised I can't think of one for library
katzenjammer
Oculus. what if a mirror was evil and could kill you
Quinneapolis
I thought I had one for vacuum cleaner but I was thinking of a laundry machine
katzenjammer
1408: what if a hotel room was evil and could kill you
Quinneapolis
how does an evil smoke detector kill you
Quinneapolis
by not going off?
Gabiluzbad
I might argue that Welcome to Night Vale has horror libraries
Doctor Ansem
Instead of detecting smoke it detects YOUR DOOM
Quinneapolis
god I remember almost nothing that happened in night vale
Gabiluzbad
They make a big deal about how vitally important it is that you never go to the library
Gabiluzbad
Or you might meet a librarian
Doctor Ansem
(I dunno tbh, I was thinking of exceedingly stupid things of "what if it was evil and could kill you")
ShootingXC
...has anyone done an anime girl figure coming to life to kill otaku?
Quinneapolis
could make a potent youtube stop motion short
Doctor Ansem
I know I saw an evil couch/ottoman recently.
Quinneapolis
yeah evil ottoman is out there
Quinneapolis
as is evil drone
ShootingXC
bed's been done
Gabiluzbad
Roomba
raspberrydrink
I think Stephen King did an evil library in one of his short stories
raspberrydrink
or well, the evil guy that came after you if you didn't return the books
izzy.vrm
pontypool: what if the english language was evil and could kill you
izzy.vrm
there has to be a movie with the premise of "what if a horror movie was evil and could kill you"
izzy.vrm
but i can't think of any off the top of my head
Princess Emily
isn't that just The Ring
Quinneapolis
more of a cursed video than a horror movie
00000000
I got to listen to a smoke detector in my apartment doing the low-battery beep for about a week because management wouldn't send someone to change it and I couldn't reach it - you could probably work something out from a scenario like that, because god knows it was painful enough without being evil on top of it
Princess Emily
00000000
: it stops beeping when the maintenance guys come, then starts again once they leave
00000000
That would work
Princess Emily
greatest horror film of all time
Doctor Ansem
10/10 would see
izzy.vrm
kairo/pulse: what if the internet was evil and could kill you
oh i'm scary
What if Kirby was evil and could kill you
Quinneapolis
that's a number of kirby endbosses
Quinneapolis
notably star allies
oh i'm scary
but you're Kirby and thus relatively safe in those games
katzenjammer
that one movie w the sentient car tire also qualifies very literally
oh i'm scary
you said pitch a horror movie
katzenjammer
rubber i think???
katzenjammer
"what if a car tire was evil and could kill you"
Quinneapolis
murkrows no I'm talking about this thing
Doctor Ansem
"What if a wifi-router was evil and could kill you?"
Doctor Ansem
Just dig into the absolute bottom of the barrel of hostile objects
Doge-lover Joja
what if a burger was evil and could kill you?
Quinneapolis
born of an evil cow
Doge-lover Joja
evil produce ethically sourced from evil farmlands.
Quinneapolis
if it's ethically sourced then is it really evil
Doge-lover Joja
it's about making the ingredients last, no matter how damned they are
Doge-lover Joja
got to be sure everyone can eat that evil burger, yeah?
Doge-lover Joja
the tools themselves are all villainous
Love Snake Kaja
Two words: evil ass
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
what if I was evil and could kill you
Frozen Time
Umineko: what if the metanarrative was real and could kill you
Doctor Ansem
Symphogear: what if language was evil and could kill you
bluecanary
what if brie was evil and could kill you
ShootingXC
Doctor Ansem
this but Aquarion Logos is actually '''horror''' in the sense that it's horrifyingly awful
bluecanary
what if lin manuel miranda was evil and could kill you
bluecanary
what if Avogadro's Number was evil and could kill you
Quinneapolis
what if hatsune miku was evil and could kill you
bluecanary
ミクダヨー泥棒【Mikudayo Burglar】
bluecanary
unironically i would watch "what if the mythbusters were evil and could kill you"
Quinneapolis
oh damn that's a good one
oh i'm scary
what if horses, which are already evil and can kill you, were real
A Grinning DM
What if a tweet was evil and could kill you?
Lightning Bolt
What if your water bottle was evil and could kill you?
skerple
Get Out: what if white people, who are already evil and can kill you, could worse than kill you