stray memory from the ancient web

there's a defunct humor site called the Brunching Shuttlecocks from the early days of my internet career

that honestly is one of the foundational rocks of my sense of humor castle

and one of the things that was put on it at some point was a little applet called Weather in Hell

that would give randomized weather forecasts for the next few days of what's going on in hell

and one of the items that would occur in the forecast sometimes just said "elbows"

elsewhere on the site you could ask the creators questions

and someone was like, "what does it mean that the weather is elbows"

response

"it means FUCKING ELBOWS"

"THE WEATHER IS ELBOWS"

"WHAT IS THERE TO EXPLAIN HERE"

"NEVER ASK THIS QUESTION AGAIN"

I- I remember the Brunching Shuttlecocks, why the fuck do I remember the Brunching Shuttlecocks

I don't remember ANYTHING that was on it but I remember that name

I also remember a short story called Measurements about a woman caught in an extremely convoluted love octagon with a bunch of men who kept coming up with increasingly complex ways of expressing their dick sizes

IT TAKES LIGHT SEVEN TENTHS OF A NANOSECOND TO CROSS MY PENIS

Lore Sjoberg was

a guy

that song plays on the radio at work sometimes

And I cannot take it even a little seriously