Alexceptional
[Family vs. Cats]: Lol pls stop being toxic fam y u like dis
Alexceptional
My dad is like "You need to give your great aunt one of your cats when you get back"
Alexceptional
This is the toxic great aunt who does not care for her pets. She will not bring them to the vet
Alexceptional
She will not keep up on their vaccines and care and she is downright manipulative and guilt tripping if you call her out for it (which I have many, many times)
Alexceptional
"I don't want to get one from the store for her, they'll scratch the furniture"
Alexceptional
Fuck off
Alexceptional
I'm furious
Alexceptional
Just zero consideration for my own feelings.
Alexceptional
Merrill is my fur baby. Rufio I saved and raised since he was 1 month old and you want me to give them to someone who I know will neglect their care just so THEY feel better?
Alexceptional
And he's trying to guild me into it "I just hope I can find one that doesn't scratch the furniture!"
Alexceptional
Actual. Literal. Quote.
Alexceptional
Lol *guilt me into it
Alexceptional
Ugh. I'm just
Alexceptional
I'm not answering his messages
Alexceptional
I'm too angry
Alexceptional
I was gonna go to Florida when I got back
Alexceptional
Now I'm thinking that's a bad idea because I don't see this manipulation ending any time soon
figaro hater
UUUUGH
Alexceptional
To be somewhat fair. This is likely my great aunt saying she likes Merrill and wants to care for Merrill and asking my dad to give her Merrill
Alexceptional
He's complained about how toxic she is to me and my only response was lol why do you think I moved to China
✧ Navigator ✧
they really see cats as belongings and items, and not living beings
Alexceptional
So it is most likely in part my dad getting manipulated
Alexceptional
THEY REALLY DO.
Alexceptional
I think or I hope my dad is just an echo chamber for my toxic aunt
Alexceptional
great aunt, but you know what I mean. We call her aunt because she doesn't like feeling old
𝔬𝔥 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝓎 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔫
oops would you look at that Merrill developed a furniture scratching habit
𝔬𝔥 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝓎 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔫
if it's that much of a problem get a fucking hamster
Alexceptional
LOL god a hamster wouldn't survive with her
Alexceptional
She's not abusive
Alexceptional
I don't want to give that impression
Alexceptional
*not abusive to pets
Alexceptional
But she can't care for herself let alone another living creature of any kind
Alexceptional
She is extremely reliant on others to do literally anything and blames them for her incapabilities
✧ Navigator ✧
just give her a plushie
Alexceptional
Why didn't you buy groceries
"Because you didn't take me"
𝔬𝔥 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝓎 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔫
I'm just a firm believer that if keeping your furniture pristine is that much of a priority, just don't get a pet that can interact with it in a way that will cause a mess. it's an animal it's going to be an animal.
Alexceptional
I agree
Alexceptional
My aunt isn't big on furniture. It's my dad who cares.
Alexceptional
He's always cared deeply about materialistic things over living beings
Alexceptional
If he did get a rescue, I worry he'd have them declawed
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
i had a toxic great aunt too but when she decided my mom's funeral was a super time to be a cu next tuesday to me a grieving 12-year-old and went around looking at all the paintings my maternal grandmother did that hung in our house asking which ones she was getting (she was my paternal great aunt, mind) my dad cut her out of our lives pretty happily.
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
may your dad also wake up to the toxicity
𝔬𝔥 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝓎 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔫
^^
Alexceptional
My dad won't be able to do that
Alexceptional
She does need care from others. No one else will do it
Alexceptional
So he honestly can't. Easiest thing to do is keep her at a relative distance and help when necessary
Alexceptional
That pressure to care for her used to be on me
Alexceptional
So I get it, but I also was able to get out of it. Although in an extreme way
Alexceptional
Idk, it feels like we're just waiting for her to go and there's something terribly wrong with that mindset
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
that's what nursing homes are for
sentient gate
I uh. Definitely wouldn't be living with your family at all when you get back, that's fucked
Alexceptional
There would be uprising if we put her in a nursing home
Alexceptional
The guilt would come from my uncles. The thing is
Alexceptional
Previously, she lived with my great grandmother and my grandma
Alexceptional
No one else has ever had to live with her. She never married, no kids
Alexceptional
At a distance, she's lovely. She dotes on nieces and nephews, she chips in with money if ever someone was in a pinch. She's even pleasant in conversation, so long as she's controlling it lol
Alexceptional
But living with her or around her is completely different. And until you do, no one seems to understand what she can be like until she's rooted nearby
Alexceptional
So it's really hard to tell another family member "she's mentally abusive" because she just doesn't seem like that at aaaall from a safe distance
Alexceptional
So doing a strong move like a nursing home for her, the family would turn against my dad who, at this point, is expected to continue caring for her while she's able enough to live alone
Alexceptional
"live alone" and "able enough" are kinda relative but yeah
Alexceptional
I say all these negative things. But despite all this and our falling out. She still is leaving me as a primary beneficiary to her will. Even my sister is receiving less for no other reason than I'm somehow the favorite. Like. We can talk about how screwed up that is but
Alexceptional
We might literally be here all day. I have not earned favoritism at all
Alexceptional
It's horribly deeper than "she wants to take my cats from me"
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
yeah family should never be involved in elder care it's all about the guilt when you should not be expected to do things that people need to be professionally trained for, for freem
Alexceptional
Yeah, I do very much agree with you
Alexceptional
If it ever fell on me again, it would be the route I take regardless of family wishes. Because this is not healthy for anyone
Alexceptional
But it's just not up to me at this time so it's mostly just... doing the best with what I've got. And that would be my cats LMAO
Alexceptional
If my step mom heard about my dad trying to guilt me into giving up a cat she'd throttle him
Alexceptional
Lol so I might talk with a step sibling about it so they can talk to her about it and eventually my dad will be scolded by someone he listens to
Alexceptional
If I called him out, it'd just be whining. But if Katie calls him out he'll apologize
Alexceptional
Behold, family dynamics at their finest
sentient gate
Yeah but like... you're an adult and honestly you don't have to listen to any of it unless you're planning to have your dad support you
sentient gate
Otherwise you can just tell him to fuck off
sentient gate
He doesn't get a free pass to abuse you just because you came from his jizz
Alexceptional
I'll likely need some support from him for a bit
Alexceptional
Financially, I'm gonna be in a bit of a bind for a little bit. It's difficult to get money out of China. It's A Process to say the least
Alexceptional
But either way, he's my dad. He'll figure out he's done wrong and apologize. He usually does, it's just a delayed reaction
Alexceptional
Just until he does he's gonna be an asshole about it
papermint tiger
There is so much nonsense here I don't even know where to start but
papermint tiger
Asking you to give up any of your cats is so incredibly awful
papermint tiger
I imagine the mindset is something like 'well you have a new cat now, surely you don't need the old one'
papermint tiger
As if cats are shoes or something
papermint tiger
I remember the trouble you went to to bring Merrill to China. As if you'd ever give her up, wow
Yon Fellow
Steps for approaching somebody else about their pets. Step 1: Do they want to give them up already, or are they having trouble taking care of them? IF NO, THAT IS THE END OF THE STEPS.
Yon Fellow
There is no such thing as a moral obligation to share your pets with somebody else
Yon Fellow
That doesn't exist
Yon Fellow
Pets are not a fungible commodity, they're living beings with needs, ffs
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
if SHE won't care for a pet but wants one for companionship your dad could maybe look to see if there's a seniors for seniors program in the area, some vets/shelters team up to adopt out senior animals to senior citizens and they cover all the medical upkeep for the animal so that it has somewhere nice and calm to live the last years of its life
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
but if that extends to in house care etc that would obviously not be a great option
Alexceptional
Actually humanspectre that's a really good idea. It's probably the best of both worlds. I'll see if I can mention it to my dad a little later
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
my good great aunt who was the best person alive and should have lived another 100 years did that, she had the uglest cat one of those ones that sort of looks like a sphynx but it has patches of like, curly short fur? sooo fucking ugly. no teeth. sweetest animal alive and my auntie loved her.
Alexceptional
omg she had a Devon Rex
Alexceptional
I love them LOL
Alexceptional
But more because of the concept of low maintenance with fur and cleaning
Alexceptional
Merrill being a tortie is so much upkeep I never fathomed until having her around during seasonal shedding. It's absurd how many Merrill rugs I could have made by now
Alexceptional
Hahaha, but yeah. I'll see what my dad says. He and my great aunt are on an island and while the mainland isn't so far off, it means these kinds of things might be a challenge to find. Even if they are in retirement land
Alexceptional
If I can talk him into it, then he'll likely arrange it before my great aunt even has a chance to debate the idea
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
hopefully it isn't too tricky!
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
bc that really sounds like the best situation for everyone
Alexceptional
Yeah, I think so. Thank you for the suggestion!
𝔬𝔥 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝓎 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔫
I never knew about that program, thank you for bringing it up too! :-o
𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
yeah it's a really great program bc elderly folks may want a pet for companionship but the struggle of vet care on a fixed income is a big thing.
載入新的回覆