[anxiety] there is nothing more intensely humiliating than finding out everyone else knew something when I don't

I somehow missed an email from last week canceling the company party to say goodbye to the current office

I forgot it was mentioned at the meeting on Monday

I went up anyway

fuck me

I was looking forward to this, too

but no, covid has to fuck everything up

I just feel like the world's stupidest person

like, I doubt anyone else at work really thinks anything of it, but I feel like I just split my pants in front of a crowd or something

and the knock-on effect of this is that I worry about every other plan I have

if I got this one wrong, did I get others wrong?

so I end up obsessively checking the calendar