Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:19 PM
[RL] i bought my partner an espresso machine for christmas. The second the box arrived. Totally non descript. Wrapped excellently.
They lift it: 'YOU BOUGHT ME AN ESPRESSO MACHINE!!"
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:19 PM
to quote the ryslig parasites "what the shit"
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:19 PM
they have a bad habit and also talent for guessing exactly whatever the fuck their presents are the entire time weve been together.
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:19 PM
i have never once surprised them
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:19 PM
i was so sure this time i had it
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:20 PM
i was fucking c e r t a i n
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:20 PM
apparently they recognized this very specific brand of cookware manufacturers and instantly knew because they're well known for their espresso machines and also for their stand mixers, and they just happened to guess
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:20 PM
im so fucking mcmad lol
6LilacMimeLions
@kadath
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:20 PM
(LOL)
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:21 PM
like, i'm happy because they're obviously delighted but GOD DAMMIT WHAT THE SHIT
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:21 PM
they're trying to negotiate to open it early because they want hot coffee all through the winter
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:21 PM
and im like N O
triska
@triskahyena
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:21 PM
LMAO
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:21 PM
they will almost certainly get what they want
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:23 PM
triska you can attest to the fact that they always do this
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:23 PM
i'm love them so much but i'm also screaming with zim-like frustration
triska
@triskahyena
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:25 PM
i can absolutely confirm
LOVE☆STRUCK
@love_struck
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:26 PM
LMAO oh NO
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:27 PM
MEANWHILE they have never once let me open a present early or let me guess what it is
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:27 PM
not once
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:28 PM
theyve even wrapped my shit in like, multiple different boxes so they can just stack surprises on each other
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:28 PM
i love them, they're such a dick lol
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:29 PM
my first birthday they bought me a bunch of books i wanted and put them in a box of adult gear. so when i unwrapped it I was like 'OH! o-okay!' and then when we were later in said mood to use said gear I opened the box and its fucking books
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:29 PM
i still find this one of the most hilarious things thats ever happened to me
triska
@triskahyena
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:29 PM
OH MY GOD?
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:29 PM
YEAH did i not tell you about that??
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:30 PM
yeah that was my first birthday while we were together, which was also like, the first major Gift Event we had in the relationship
triska
@triskahyena
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:30 PM
you might have but i've forgotten
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:30 PM
i started laughing so hard i like, had to sit on the floor
ɢʟᴀᴍ★sᴛᴀʀ
@passiones
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:31 PM
oh my god that's obnoxious and also hilarious
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:42 PM
https://images.plurk.com/6DGgoGgOAvyFYvut2y6iyW.jpg ANYWAY look at this nice espresso machine I bought
triska
@triskahyena
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:42 PM
oh shiiiiit
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:43 PM
Made sure it had a milk steamer bc i know their bougee fucking ass was gonna want it
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:43 PM
Im glad that apparently this brand is so well known they recognized it that quickly bc i dont know what the hell im doing so
triska
@triskahyena
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 10:44 PM
means you def picked a good one
fire toad
@terribletrivium
Sun, Nov 28, 2021 11:01 PM
damn that's a good gift but also oh no....
🥀molto☆cringé🥀
@Trapinchmon
Mon, Nov 29, 2021 12:18 AM
half their present is getting to meme on you it seems
Ooze
@OozeWizard
Mon, Nov 29, 2021 12:32 AM
LMAO you know honestly? Yeah
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