3 ways to build a happy marriage and avoid divorce

Neuroplasticity research tell us that the human brain is still growing until at least the age of 25. 20s is a decade of rapid change and maturation. Your personality at the age of 20 does not correlate with your personality at the age of 50. But your personality at the age of 30 does correlate with your personality at the age of 50

The relationships that were the most stable and happy over the longer term were relationships in which the couple shared power. They were influenceable: big decisions, like buying a house, overseas trips, buying a car, having children. It's something you can evaluate while you're dating.

Tho data shows that women were generally pretty influenceable. Men who are influenceable also tended to be "outstanding fathers." So women: How influenceable is your man? Men: you're with her because you respect her. Make sure that respect plays out in the decision-making process.

After married for 30~40 years. This is a time when they're approaching the infirmities and illness of old age. It's a time when they're particularly focused on caring for each other. They'll forgive things that have bugged them for years, because they're focused on caring for each other. But they may still get divorced cuz of the lack of reliability

Does your partner have your back? 1can you rely on your partner to do what they say they're going to do? Do they follow through? 2if, for example, you're suffering from sth, does your partner step up and do what needs to be done to leave you feeling cared for and protected? Not all the time, 80% of the time, but particularly if it's important to you.

On your side, think carefully before you commit to do something for your partner. It is much better to commit to as much as you can follow through than to commit to more sound-good-in-the-moment and then let them down. And if it's really important to your partner, and you commit to it, make sure you move hell and high water to follow through.

These are things you look for, but these are also things that can be built in existing relationships.