Spoilers for Rise of the Resistance ride/experience in Disneyland (probably World also)

THIS IS AN EXPERIENCE and it's worth all the bullshit Virtual Queue nonsense

and with the nine-jabillion moving parts it's easy to see why it breaks down so often

as my brother said: "It's transformative in what a ride can be" and he's not wrong!

It starts out with a lil 'yo, we have to discreetly evacuate you from Batuu thx for your help but the First Order knows the Resistance is here so we've gotta skedaddle' message from Rey (and BB-8 who was explaining everything before letting her message thru, but nobody speaks astromech)

you get herded out of the hangar/hidden base into an escape shuttle, just standing with bars to hold onto, Poe & black squadron are there as an escort

but then you get in a firefight

and get FUCKING BOARDED BY THE FIRST ORDER AND TAKEN OFF FOR 'QUESTIONING' AS TO WHERE THE NEW RESISTANCE BASE IS!

AND OMFG THE SHINY BLACK FLOORS, THE LITERAL SQUAD OF STORMTROOPERS (MOVING V. DISCREETLY, LIL HEAD MOVEMENTS) AND ALL THE CAST MEMBERS IN F.O. UNIFORMS??? IT'S SO GOOD

that was the first time it felt 'real' and my heart was beating so fast

your shuttle of resistance supporters (y'know, park guests) gets separated by halves and then broken down into color-coded groups, bestie and I accidentally drew attention to ourselves arguing over whether we were white or gray

and the lady FO officer was short but she was MEAN

and she says: "It's gray, if you have questions you can ask" and then asked why we were found on a resistance transport

and I just made broken syllable-noises and bestie finally manages: "We were on vacation?" and fo officer scoffs: 'well you aren't anymore'

so then we all get shuffled off to get interrogated by Kylo who then gets called to the bridge as an emergency AND THE RESISTANCE CUTS A FRICKIN' WALL OPEN TO RESCUE US

packs us into troop transport carts (Finn had infiltrated the Star Destroyer at some point, I know it was mentioned but hell if I remember) and the droids driving the carts are supposed to get us to an escape pod WHILE THE DESTROYER IS IN AN ACTIVE FIREFIGHT

AND KYLO IS STILL AFTER US FOR ESCAPING

HE SLICES INTO CEILING AT ONE POINT AND OMFG THAT EFFECT WAS SO COOL

AS WERE ALL THE ASPLOSIONS

and by the by: this is all trackless

FUCKIN' MAGIC

you get shot at a bunch (and those effects are super neato) and driven all around an exploding Star Destroyer and finally dropped out via escape pod and back to the Resistance base where the cast Resistance members are glad you survived bc they thought you were goners for sure etc. etc. etc.

but in conclusion: if it ever gets off the BS Virtual Queue and into normal queue/fastpass I'll be going on it multiple times a day

OH ALSO! THEY HAVE SEATS BUILT IN ALL ALONG THE LINE INSIDE!

they're finally learning

and I still don't know how they did the transition from outdoor courtyard boarding into shuttle to indoor exit into Star Destroyer

(logically the star destroyer is underground and the escape via troop cart winds you back up to ground level again, but I don't actually know and I don't want to either, it's fuckin' magic)

that sounds super cool

sounds fun!

IT'S SO AMAZING Y'ALL