for some reason I am fine with being a person who basically only threads with my team in team games but I am less fine with the possibility of becoming a person who only threads with cast. I don't necessarily think I'm REALLY danger of this cuz like
but on the other hand I also am like 'oh no I suddenly remembered I had good threads with people off-cast/team like a couple weeks ago but then have not threaded with them since'
I don't think I'm going to be bad at pacing myself because I haven't been having any trouble with that so far overall even tho I [trips on 2k comments][more comments spill out of my arms]
a small part of me is maybe worried I will become insignificant because the character I am playing is relatively insignificant but I'm also not seriously worried about that since Rainsworth dango
I also am a little wigged out about my canonpoint now bc I have just rolled with a number of assumptions about other characters who also survived and talking that out with Michi was fine and good but other people's characters are not married to my character now
which Lily is hanging around with Sharon and/or Reim is like literally all endseries stuff where she pops up so probably anyone who did app Lily would also make that same assumption, but
I think maybe I do also feel like I am being held to a higher standard now although I am not sure how my brain got to this conclusion. but before I was like 'yes I'm very good and fun haha I can do whatever I want' but now I am like 'in order to justify the cast size I must stop fucking up ever'
YOU'D THINK I'D AT LEAST FEEL LIKE 'OH NO PEOPLE RECOGNIZE THE CHARACTER NOW AND CAN JUDGE MY PERFORMANCE ON THAT INFORMATION' BUT NO FOR SOME REASON I'M LIKE 'NOW I MUST ADHERE TO A STANDARD OF PROFESSIONALISM AND BE A GOOD REPRESENTATIVE OF THE CAST,' WHY? FOR FUCKING WHAT?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa