[mute, talking to myself about rp]

you know every 6 months or so i get the urge to play this one character

i do not think i've ever really made him stick in a game for more than a month or two

but i keep wanting to try

and i'm thinking maybe it's because his potential was so dramatically squandered in his canon?

like, i'm a fucking broken record about him, i know, anyone who knows me well will PROBABLY GUESS who i'm talking about as this progresses

so would it be weird if i filed the serial numbers off and made a character who got the RESPECT they DESERVED in their story

and apped them as an OC

i'm 100% sure i could find reasonable icons and maybe there's a version of this story where someone acknowledged that he's not just pure evil for longer than five seconds

(i also then don't feel like i have to justify my headcanon that he only likes men because He's An OC He Likes Who I Say)

i mean the property is obscure enough that absent this plurk i don't think most people would realize what i did or what he's from lol

it will forever drive me insane that "i did all these austerity measures and seemingly callous things because we need to have a strong military for the LITERAL ELDRITCH HORROR THAT WILL BE HERE IN ONE YEAR" was basically just brushed aside by the narrative, one character in the cutscene acknowledges that it could be true

and then it's never commented upon again and most of the game continues treating him like he just did it to fill his own pockets

has it occurred to any of you, who are supposed to be the people running this kingdom, that it's not going to matter whether the people are starving if they're all dead in a year

it's almost like it wants me to read the eldritch horror as a metaphor for some real-world thing (terrorism probably) that politicians pretend is coming but the problem is that by this point in the game you have MET the eldritch horror and spent a whole couple of quests being fucked with by it and hearing the testimony of people who have been living under it

IT IS, IN FACT, COMING. YOUR METAPHOR IS BAD if that's even what it is

if it's not just fucking peter molyneux sucking his own dick over super advanced morality and consequence systems and acting like they're this perfect microcosm of ethics when they just boil down to an aesthetic preference

lmfao i knew i was gonna trigger my own nerdrage it's fine I'M FINE FUCK PETE MOLYNEUX BUT LIKE I'M FINE

maybe i'll make a journal and noodle at some voicetesting

(to clarify on the gay headcanon, this is one of those characters who we never see anything related to romance for him and there's nothing about him to suggest one way or another which these days doesn't really get questioned but in 2012 people would be real sus on)

i just want to acknowledge him as the tragic figure he is but i feel like canon didn't give me enough to work with to do it in rp without feeling like i'm making shit up wholecloth and that makes me feel like someone's going to come screaming out of the woodwork waving a copy of the game and scolding me

and it would be nice if i could just dismiss that clearly-stupid fear but apparently i cannot lmao

for one thing, the OC would have a physical disability that was theoretically possible to hide from the public, rather than magical corruption in his brain that changes his eye color

(also it's time to admit to myself that i don't think the eye color changes were intentional. i think the game was rushed and the lighting is weird so the model got fucked up a bunch of times)

(although i still think it's valid of me to take it and put my own interpretation on it)