Someone stole my unopened soda in the break room fridge. THERE WILL BE BLOOD!

But really stealing my food or drink is a HUGE work pet peeve of mine. Get off your lazy ass and BRING YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD YOU PIGGIE WIGGIES! STOP BEING A FUCKING FREELOADER, FOOD IS EXPENSIVE!

Murder them

If I have to go the childish route of labeling my drink, since my lunch bag is so distinctive I'd instantly know if anyone ate from it, I will.

That's just so unprofessional and inconsiderate.

destroy

And I was eating spicy tacos tonight so going without a drink was not possible. I had to order one from 7-11 and get it delivered by Postmates so this boorish ASSHOLE cost me ten bucks to get a freaking soda delivered.

KILL THEM

There's a very limited list of suspects it could be too. Housekeeping and Front Desk need to watch their backs. I've got my eye on them!