[gender/dolls] I was SO stoked when I won a Target gift card from my art group, because the enby dolls that I'd really wanted were half price, and I would be able to get both of them plus maybe a cool fashionista doll or something...

but I needed to wait until I got my stipend payment from the DEI committee I'm on...

I'd thought the enby dolls were on sale because they're old and disappearing and on clearance... didn't realize they were only temporarily on sale

or no wait, the card would have totally covered them, so I wasn't waiting on the stipend, I was waiting on them to send me the code for the gift card itself

by the time I got the gift card, the dolls weren't on sale anymore

so I've been hanging out with this constant low-level anxiety that they will disappear before going on sale again, and should I just blow my whole card to only cover part of their full price or should I let them go and spend the card on something like art supplies or shelving or whatever

they're not even available on amazon anymore

...today I finally broke and realized how heartbroken I would be if I waited too long and missed these dolls

I love the one that I have, and it always makes me sad that they're the only doll I have like that

I think the fact that they're alone on the shelf without other enby dolls, surrounded by very definitely female dolls makes me inordinately sad

--whoop! yep. I'm tearing up about it.

ugh

my gender angst/dysphoria is getting so bad

so I finally asked stick should I just go ahead and get these dolls at full price anyway, spending my whole card plus more

buying anything at full price gives me such anxiety (thanks, growing up in poverty) but the anxiety of missing out on these dolls is worse

so I went ahead and ordered them

Get those dolls!! Look at them on your shelf and let them fill you with joy.

I will!!! and I will dress them up and do their hair and try not to cry thinking of their commercial with all the gender-freed kids in it

Creatable World Deluxe Character Kit Customizable Do...

that's one of the ones I just got