Quinn Angstrom
[project RE moves] Here's the exact text of the plot summary of Resident Evil Afterlife on Amazon
Quinn Angstrom
The fourth installment of the hugely successful RESIDENT EVIL franchise, RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE is again based on the wildly popular video game series, and will this time be presented in 3-D.
Quinn Angstrom
I think this is the one with the terrible wesker fight in it so I'm excited
Quinn Angstrom
in many action/horror franchises, there's one that sells itself as The 3D One
Quinn Angstrom
and it is almost always the worst one in the series
Quinn Angstrom
first word of the movie after the intro narration is a japanese guy saying "biohazard", which is cute
Quinn Angstrom
Shawn Roberts is doing... something, as Wesker
Quinn Angstrom
SHURIKENS TOWARDS THE CAMERA
Quinn Angstrom
Alice is here and she's dual wielding katanas
Quinn Angstrom
oh my god this is stupid
Quinn Angstrom
BULLET CASINGS TOWARDS THE CAMERA
Quinn Angstrom
DEBRIS TOWARDS THE CAMERA
Quinn Angstrom
I'm so tired
Quinn Angstrom
I'm glad I'm watching this in 2D
Quinn Angstrom
Alice died
Quinn Angstrom
but then three more Alices showed up
Quinn Angstrom
this is probably the movie with the largest number of Milla Jovovicses in it
Quinn Angstrom
eight Millas are shooting guns at Wesker's video game helicopter
Quinn Angstrom
T-VIRUSES TOWARDS THE CAMERA
Quinn Angstrom
I glanced down and missed how Alice Prime survived being in a helicopter crash after losing all her powers but who cares
Quinn Angstrom
she's fine
Quinn Angstrom
CROWS AT THE CAMERA
penis bacon
oh god this is full-blown grindhouse red/blue shades level of 3D schmaltz then, is it
Quinn Angstrom
why is the shotgun shooting COINS
Quinn Angstrom
did I miss a scene where they explained the penny shotguns
Rama
I mean that is a thing you can do with a shotgun
Rama
If you don't have actual shot but you do have a shell
Rama
I always figured it'd be easier to get a hold of lead than coins though
oh i'm scary
I'll be honest
oh i'm scary
I know where I can get a big container of pennies right now
oh i'm scary
but I would be at a loss if you asked me to produce small lead pellets
Rama
I suppose it depends on what you have access to
oh i'm scary
that said
oh i'm scary
I feel like what would be even easier would be, like
oh i'm scary
gravel
oh i'm scary
maybe you'd get less penetration
Rama
Yeah not a lot of density to gravel
Rama
Loading a shotgun with rock salt is considered less-than-lethal, I figure it'd be similar results
Quinn Angstrom
god
Quinn Angstrom
it's been said before but the wesker fight is
Quinn Angstrom
so AMAZINGLY bad
Quinn Angstrom
like it seems like it would MORE work to make it this bad
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