I don’t know why but couldn’t stop feeling such constantly rage all time no matter having errands to run or while both hands are free.

It’s a totally waste of time but the anger burns so strong never faded no matter how hard I’ve tried.

I begin to wonder if it gonna drain me out or I would lose purpose to go on.

Maybe this is why the madness doesn’t go off.
I’m terrified of being nothing without it.

Have you ever seen a therapist?

When did you start to feel angry at any tiny matter?

I experienced the same situation years ago, but I wasn’t realize it was because I totally burned out. Stress and overworked made me become a person I disliked. In the meanwhile, I also felt frustrated for I couldn’t control myself being rube to others.

Then, I quit the job, moved to another country, and began to heal myself. And it did work. I hope you will find a way out, just like what I did. Take care.

Yes I had. Unfortunately psychological issues can’t improve in short term and current financial condition can’t support the expense

It bothers me without any causes. In the contrast, I could control myself well even better than average people cuz I’m always aware of my own emotions and good at hiding it. The other reason not go to doctor. It’a not dangerous

panda6878: But it does drain me out. I have very weak self control while I’m alone. Not any idea of hurting myself, just sitting alone feeling the anger for all nights or days.

ಠ_ಠ: did you find what cause the anger? An angry feelings shouldn't come from nowhere?

panda6878: Sometimes I want to shout it out loud so here I’m. It’s very kind of you sharing your experience. I’m happy to hear person having the same problem can heal.

Hiding the feeling or trying the best to mention the normal side of you could drain all of your energy. You got a financial issue to see a shrink? Why not try a motivation coach online?

panda6878: The anger comes from nowhere, it exists before I could be aware. The therapists tried to find out where it comes from, an childhood sorrow or family issue. Doesn’t really helped. It was frustrating and making the rage back fired when I was alone. I guess keeping treating it is not so healthy tho.

ಠ_ಠ: I took that experience as an important piece of my life.
It actually took me 3 months to heal. First, I moved to a country speaking Franch and I didn’t know anything about it. Got a job that didn’t require me to talk to anyone. I spent 3 months to face myself, literally. (no one talked to me in English

Shit autocorrect: it’s not ‘mention,’ it’s ‘maintain’

If the treatment doesn’t work, give it up and listen to your heart. Before I moved to another country, my mind echoed: leave here, leave as far as you can. Although that sounded like a coward, “leaving the place I felt upset about” did save me a lot of times.

I’ve never tried a motivation coach before, first time hear of it. I would try to look for such resources.

Wow it’s very brave of you moving to a country which is a completely strange environment!!
But only then we can focus in our deep side of mind.

panda6878: I had the same echoes when I was in college. I took a flee out of the country too. But eventually I came back to finish the degree and took a job. I’m always shifting the jobs cuz I’m absolutely can’t be happy.

panda6878: Currently I’m unemployed, I can understand your decision to a foreign country. Inside the comfort zone has too much distracting voices( ironically makes comfort zone not so comfortable)

ಠ_ಠ: Don’t say so. You will be happy again. You didn’t feel that way right now that’s because you’re trying your best to find ways to know your true self.

ಠ_ಠ: Last year I was unemployed till this year I got a job. Unemployment and financial problems did suffocated me. Since I has no money last year, I accidentally found there’s free therapist like stuff, named motivation coach. You can search motivation coach online. It got a website and offered trainers,

who want to get a license to be a formal motivation coach.

Trainers could offer 3 free sessions to each patient; the formal ones only offer 1 free session. Btw they all British. And carefully read patients feedback to find a good one. It might not work as a shrink session, but it’s good to hear to other people’s perspective when unemployed.

At least, talking to a stranger was much better than facing my laptop and having no motivation to finish my C.V.

My motivation coach was trainer. She helped me to sort me daily priorities and asked me to report my progress in the next session. Accountability forced me to finish CV send out 50 cover letters.

You can do it. It’s hard and frustrated. You will find a way to run away from current situation.

panda6878: I really appreciate to hear that. The thoughts of living a life with depressing emotion state all the time haunts me. It’s terrifying and uncomfortable.

panda6878: The idea of motivation coach seems fitting my need! It’s much more comfortable to talk about these problems to a strangers than someone close. I would hate to see the same problem begin to drain my friends out as well.

Thank you so much for every second you spend here and everything sharing with me. I didn’t expect this. It’s warm and surprising. Everything you say is very inspiring and makes me feeling much better. It’s a long way to go but I’ll keep trying .

panda6878: English is actually not the language I often l speak so it’s hard to fully express my gratitude( but feels safe to tell a secret). My best wish for you too