slightly related to my last plurk, but I told Jenny last night that the plan changed so now I'm moving two months earlier, and even though I literally did not ask for it, she started giving me advice and asking a million questions
she asked me how much I'd be paying my friend every month, if my friend has a washer and dryer and whether or not I'll be allowed to use it, whether I'll be able to use the fridge, what the bus system there is like, what I personally am going to do about my own groceries
and she said I should put a big mini fridge in my room now (which, by the way, I HAVE NO ROOM FOR) so I can keep my food and groceries separate from everyone else's??? sorry but we've had a huge bug problem lately so no, I will not be keeping food in my room to ATTRACT MORE BUGS
I've been starting to, yeah! I've been buying my own coffee and some fruits and vegetables here and there for a few months now, and every time I offer to pay her back for my almond milk or whatever, she says no
but like, I'm 30, I do have some life skills, there are many things I've never done. but that doesn't mean I can't figure it out as I go because that's... basically what adulting is
yep! and my friend was in disbelief when I told her that Jenny was questioning whether I would be allowed to use the fridge or the washer and dryer... I'm moving into a house, not a prison, goddamn
It is because she thinks she is doing you a favor by letting you currently use those things. Guarantee if you stayed long enough those would eventually cost money or you would be guilted for doing your laundry etc
I've been living with her for over 5 years and there's been plenty of guilt tripping, but yeah, she thinks I'm taking advantage of her?? even though I hardly actually ask for anything
There is a term for it but I can not remember it atm, but it really has nothing to do with you, what you do or don’t do, or what you ask for, or anything. Basically every little thing she does “for” you there is never any way you could be “appreciative” enough and no matter what you do for her it will seem to “small” to her.
If you gave her a million dollars and she gave you a glass of water in her mind you would still be in her debt. It is a weird mentality but if you think about it you can probably see evidence in other thing and the way she interacts with/treats other people. It can be pretty subtle unless you purposely think/look for it
oh for sure, I've been trying to notice more signs of it over the last 6 months, and I've been able to let some of her gaslighting attempts roll off my back because I've gotten better at recognizing the signs
of course some things she says to me are still incredibly hurtful, like comparing me to my abusive dad who literally kicked me out of his house, or telling me I'm selfish and hateful
and now that I'm leaving, like, actually really leaving, I honestly think it's sent her into a panic, and I have to try my best to be prepared for however she tries to lash out at me
I definitely will, and even if there are things I don't know how to respond to, I'm still leaving with my own money on my own terms for the first time in my life, and it feels really good, and no one can take that away from me
"I don't want to spend the extra money"
"you can get a bus pass for cheap"