This is coming out of absolutely nowhere except I saw a piece of joke fanart on Twitter and it's on my mind, but do you ever think about the really detailed specifics of how Dirk survived to toddlerhood and how his "world" developed. Because I do. All the damn time.
I have headcanons for most of this shit, which is like... normal for RP lmfao but like, for example, the way I headcanon he learned to speak and read and understand language also probably left him with the impression that muppets/puppets were not only as alive and real as humans, but that humans were as real ("real") as puppets. Assuming! That he even--
See, Dirk's biggest actual hurdle here is food scarcity and some of that is probably answered with the... same flash stepping powers that had baby Dave zipping back to hang onto the back of Bro's head when Bro... experimentally tried to throw him off a roof
By the time he was like 5 he was probably online and that's like... that explains so muhc about his personality SDMKFASDF--
Yeah no there are limits to how realistic it can be but "toddler age child eating raw fish" isn't really a stretch once you've accepted that the baby is so fast it can practically teleport
sailor bii
: Even that's like........ I'm not sure that was a meaningful distinction to him until later, and even then like. We see him blurring those lines a lot without thinking about it at all.
Well I mean given how much his extreme mortality has been a constant since before he could fucking talk, I don't blame him. His constants are like... mortality, and the immortality of non-flesh.
It is funny though because while he does VERY BRIEFLY and VERY SUPERFICIALLY and VERY DISMISSIVELY acknowledge the existence of "trauma" in his life history in HS^2, he really just don't even entertain the concept when talking about himself, when you can even get him TO talk about himself
I'm half convinced he'd consider discovering that puppets and people were not both "real" in a living way more scarring than discovering that humans were real but ended under horrible circumstances 400 years before he ever existed
Which is probably part of a separate purification system, because the Juggalo Presidency was replacing the taps with Faygo and also like.... the apocalypse did not preserve water treatment plants
Given the whole, uh... ectobiology weird paradox clone thing, I feel like we have to ask ourselves if the Sburb player kids even have exactly the same physical needs and requirements that a standard baby human would.
Otherwise we don't really know because the only kid who that might be noticeable on is.... Dirk, really. Roxy was taken in by Carapacians, Jake survived in a bubble basically after his Grandma died... Dirk's the only one whose infancy was especially marked by a total lack of care or even basic necessities sdjkfasd
And Dirk blows past that so fast when talking to Dave.... we only know that his earliest memory is clinging to Cal as he floated on the ocean after the meteor he rode in on splashed down, and then that once he floated his way to his... highrise, he "climbed up, then [he] just started foraging for food in there like a feral infant."
Yeah no there are limits to how realistic it can be but "toddler age child eating raw fish" isn't really a stretch once you've accepted that the baby is so fast it can practically teleport