I'd do that "what vibe do I give off" meme but if anyone answered with a non-coffee beverage I'd probably have to block them.

but are you iced coffee or hot coffee

Truly, a question for the ages. It's both.

raile is a quantum state of temperatured coffee

I say this is a trick question, there's no espresso on this list.

Any drink with less than three shots would be insulting

....you're actually right and I'm kind of mad about how correct you are

I appalled my boss once by putting four shots of espresso into a grande coldbrew with like two pumps of cinnamon dolce

LMAO

He clearly hadn't known you long enough.

Well NOW she knows, and one time I forgot to order a drink quad and at the handoff counter was like "I figured you meant for this to be quad" as she poured two more shots and I was like "....... yeah,"

I'm a parody of myself but at least I'm a well-caffeinated parody