while i was fast forwarding through some shannon scenes i remembered that before i even started playing umineko i saw some fanart that implied shannon/sayo was the murderer
and then when i put together my initial theory about culprit sayo in episode 4 during that ange segment i actually briefly remembered that fanart and then like forcibly wiped it from my mind
i'm pretty sure that my current theory of "sayo = shannon and kanon, shannon and kanon != sayo" was based on some fanart i maybe saw before or even during i can't even fucking remember AND GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
probably not helped by the fact i'm still super fucking hungry after eating barely anything today WHICH SHOULD BE IMPEDING MY MEMORY BUT SOMEHOW ISN'T???
on the one hand from what i remember there wasn't actually much detail other than implying sayo was the culprit so i'm actually still proud of myself for figuring out the deductive process that got me there
but at the same time i feel like the BIGGEST fucking idiot because i'm pretty sure if i didn't have something half-remembered nudging me in that direction in the first place i wouldn't have come to that conclusion at all! fuck!
Can I at least say you're being too hard on yourself over it? Try to breathe.