face in hands. god. i can't tell whether i want to sincerely drop a game or if it's just like. depression and shit doing me in.

like i really only want to stay for two canon castmates and one crosscanon cr because i've been feeling a lack of motivation but i only joined it super recently

so i'm not sure if that's fair?

idk it feels like all my efforts there have kinda... fallen flat

and i can't tell if it's because of me or if i just don't fit in with the game

idk i've always been kinda bad with straight up horror games

because no matter what i do i always feel like the way my characters react to trauma is ooc?

how do you mean, anon? you have trouble imagining how the characters would/should react to the happenings around them?

sorta, yeah

i always feel like i'm either going overboard or underselling it and i can't figure out what to do with it

like it's probably anxiety but

bleaugh

again also it's like

it's been a month and i don't know how to feel about the only cr that's really stuck with them being, like

two canonmates and one crosscanon cr

And I don’t know if I need to try harder or if the games just not clicking for me.

that does sound like anxiety.

unless it's a very short-term game or a murdergame, that seems a normal amount of CR after only a month in-game, tho

unless you're genuinely just not enjoying yourself at all, I'd recommend sticking it out a bit longer?

it might also be the game is too slow-paced for your tastes, some of us like loads of stuff & CR to click into place fast, & some of us prefer a more laidback pace

lots of different games run at different speeds, based on size and overall-player tag-speed preferences

I'd also recommend asking your canonmates for feedback on how your characters have reacted so far, & if it feels in-character or not to them

Also: it's ok if horror games aren't your thing. Trying games and exploring material you aren't sure you'll like is good but you shouldn't feel like you have an obligation to stay in a game that isn't fun for you.

Some people find it cathartic to put characters through hell, but if traumatizing your character is interacting badly with your own anxiety and depression, it's more than ok to back away.