This morning's work is convincing whoever reads this essay that this painting of a fully clothed woman putting on makeup is actually raunchy

I kind of have to pull it off because it's 1/3 of my total essay but I think I can do it

Her cleavage holds many mysteries.

Why her tits are so big, full of secrets, etc

Theres apparently a rumour that wide-bottomed champagne glasses are modelled from the shape of her breast, but that's entirely unfounded, and only very funny to repeat

I've heard that about Marie Antoinette as well.

Coupe glasses.

If I had 10 cents for every time I found an artwork of the Marquise de Pompadour in an erotic context, then I'd have 30 cents, and that isn't much, but I'm surprised I've been able to find three

Tiddies: OUT

I'm a smidge more catholic guilt away from just writing "I know, I hate that I'm writing about her breasts, I know that neither of us want me to be writing about her breasts, please, for the love of god, just read this quickly" as a footnote

that statue is just 'good sir, may i present my left nipple."

it's not even erotic she just seems really proud of it

I mean, it is a