So yesterday I went on a bit of an adventure

You see, one of my rl best friends-- her mom just bought some land out in the middle of NB's countryside. the place was overgrown with a pair of cabins built into one whole that had... seen better days, for sure.

we were asked to come up to take a look at the place and help 'organize things'- at first I was like "Uhhh you know who you're talking to right?"

as I'm notoriously bad at organizing like, living space.

but it turns out there was a bunch of old books owned by the previous owners

note books, planting books, local info

as well as some... ahem. More adult related things.

we were allowed to take what we wanted, but I also was brought up to evaluate what would could b worth donating to the provincal Archive.

i know you might not think it; but things like this; books with marginalia, note books, what you collect-- all of it can tell a really intresting tale about life. How many times do people wish they knew more about the past, having only the 'elites' POV you know?

...what sort of caught me off guard was finding two books about St Pierre

for thos who don't know, my dad's side of the family is from St Pierre et Miquelon; a group of islands of the coast of newfoundland that are actually french territory

finding those in the middle of the NB countryside in the house of people I'll never meet, especially after dad passing away... was kinda

surreal and blindsiding.

seemed like whoever lived there traveled a lot since they had newfoundland stuff too, so it was probably either someplace they visted or wanted to.

...I ended up crying a little all the way home-- not because the day was bad, but just haunted by the thought of

'Dad would've loved to see this-- he was so into St Pierre's history and geneology, and would've shared it with everyone, but..."

"He's not here anymore."

I think what kills me most about this whole grief thing is you can't make new memories with the person you lost. I always was so happy whn I found somthing I could share with dad, because we... didn't have much in common in terms of interest.