I'm blaming this on actually rigorously taking my medication for the last month and a half plus cutting out soda completely from my diet but my mood has TANKED the last few days.
Me: I'm sad and depressed. Mom: Why? What do you have to be depressed about? Me: I don't think that's how it works Mom: Well, I don't know what you expect me to do about it.
But I'm talking to my therapist going like "I'm finding myself struggling not to tell coworkers that I don't care when they come to problems I have fixed for them in the past. They're the kind you don't burn bridges with but I. Don't. Care."
"I know I WILL probably care later on but I don't care. I don't care that my mom is cold and wants to pay 15,000 for window repairs. I don't care about anything, and it's not suicidal. I just want to not. be. here. right now."
"I'm really good at faking it. This right here is real, but I just got out of a meeting with my boss and I made my voice really chipper and happy like this! and I can make it through the day! faking it!"
I was reading "How to Survive a Plague", which is about the AIDS epidemic, and it had this interesting passage about survivors of a pandemic and how they get consumed by the anxiety, even after most of the danger has passed, about never being able to go back to a happier time again
And to her credit, she did take over communication. Going like "No, please don't ask us to come over to see [cousins from Florida], we're busy and going through some rough patches, we're all set, have a good Easter, see you when we see you."
"Is everything okay??? Your mom says that you're unavailable on Wednesday to meet [cousins]. I want to drop stuff off at your house tomorrow. Will you be home??"
And I'm just going like "I'm so tired of always having to be near a computer or my phone. If I just left it behind and went somwhere it would be heaven. No one could reach me."
Yeah. It's tough, I'm back in class again and it goes late, and weekends are pretty much schoolwork booked. But I have a few hours between end of work and start of school tonight, I'm probably gonna go drive around a little
The weather's back to being miserable but I can probably sit in the car and read for a bit. Never thought I was affected by seasonal depression but it feels like something similar
Yeah. I'm just. Going through the motions now. Each day looks exactly the same and never-ending. The cat goes to the vet on Monday. Mom gets driven down for her second vaccine Wedneday. I have school 3 nights a week and do homework when I'm not at work-work.
i've felt so much the same lately. last week, it came to a head so bad that hubby and i booked a last min reservation to a hotel out of town because i just could not handle being in the house anymore knowing my parents might come asking for more favors.
so we left. parents called, we were three hours away, couldn't help them. it was the healthiest thing i've done in months. i can absolutely recommend it.
I do think that one side effect of COVID going on for so long that you kind of get used to the general background anxiety and forget that it is, in fact, anxiety. I've been blindsided by stuff that shouldn't get me as worked up as it did and it definitely reminded me that I need to take time for myself
Yeah, all this pretty much. Thanks guys. I'm newly married but I know my anxiety tends to ramp up and make Sergio anxious until we're both a mess so I might just. go off by myself
i think what suuuucks about the pandemic for situations like this is the places you can go are more limited. like, this would be a great time to go to a library or cafe and sit but.... can't do it
I hope you can carve out a little time to just get away even if it's a long drive or something. You're definitely not alone in this feeling, and it will have an "other side" to get to but that doesn't make it any less heavy and hard while it's crushing in on you now.
oh my god my parents are the EXACT SAME WAY I go "wow I think 2020 gave me more gray hairs from stress" and they're like "what do you have to be stressed about"
been having similar issues and am swinging out of it the past few days. part of it's just been sleeping and resting more. i'm lucking out that i'm getting some extra money so i can afford to do that
Mom: Why? What do you have to be depressed about?
Me: I don't think that's how it works
Mom: Well, I don't know what you expect me to do about it.