Axe Goth Real?
It Is Time. Time for something else. Something different. Something that people may even describe as... good?
Axe Goth Real?
We're going to be looking at OSR dark horse Dark Places & Demogorgons which adapts a sort of melange of D&D rules through multiple editions to do the "kids on bikes" genre as its called of RPG, in this case particularly about teenagers in the 1980s in a large town (maybe even kind of small city) in Kentucky.
Axe Goth Real?
DP&D is technically an offshoot of the Survive This!! Zombies ruleset which, for my money, is a great beer and pretzels styled game if you just want to tell a story about a bunch of people dealing with fucked up horrors. The two games are fully compatible, and that's great, because one of the strengths of DP&D is how sandboxy it is.
Axe Goth Real?
But first, time for me to make coffee now that the boil warning's off.
paradisaea
NOSFERATU!
化けの花
yisssss
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
sits
Axe Goth Real?
Okay, so. This will mostly be the core book, though I will be delving a bit into the Player's Guide because it does add a few things to bring the core book in line with the other later supplements, like providing level 6 and 7 to the corebook classes, when we get there.
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We open up with a direct premise pitch that's sort of IC, sort of not. The game is set in Jeffersontown, Kentucky, in the 1980s. J'town is a "small community" outside of Louisville, an exurban expanse that's bigger than a small town but still financially dependent for the most part on the larger urban center nearby.
Axe Goth Real?
Life is boring, school sucks, pressures are real, there's a full fire-and-brimstone asshole preacher, a wannabe Jerry Falwell in town that is using the Satanic Panic to browbeat everyone for his own gains, and now weird shit is happening; vanishings, people randomly committing suicide, and whatnot. J'town's always been kind of a weird place, but now...
Axe Goth Real?
So a solid hook to begin with. You instantly know what the game is about, and it focuses on this; J'town is modern but in its own way isolated and the whole region has a very serious Silent Hill vibe of some fucked up history leading to dark secrets lurking just under the surface.
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(Recently there was an alternate setting published for the gameline, Santa Muerte, which is a small city between Los Angeles and San Diego and is there for if you want something with more of a schlocky, Troma Entertainment feeling, for the record.)
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We get another elevator pitched sized setting summary as part of the required by law "what is an RPG?" section:
https://images.plurk.com/2BZzUP0QmF9lX2aXAmpEor.png
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I also appreciate that they refer to D&D in this obliquely as "The Original 1970's Roleplaying Game" or "The World's Most Popular 1970's Roleplaying Game" rather than the usual "The Greatest Roleplaying Game Ever" nonsense most OSR games use.
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And with like a page of description we immediately launch into character creation!
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7 Ability Scores this time: Strength, Intelligence, Wisdom, Dexterity, Constitution, Charisma, and Survival.
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3d6 raw, but you can assign them in whatever order you want. Pre-3e score mods, too, mostly:
https://images.plurk.com/4YHBxZ8JxBrSOquaniobYI.png
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In the era of scaling ability scores into infinity this -3 to +3 range makes this strangely feel more like a PBTA game, even though that range was PBTA using old-school mechanics. Everything old is new again, eventually.
NOSFERATU!
huh
NOSFERATU!
I never really thought of that
Axe Goth Real?
Stats mostly do what you expect them to do, though it's worth noting that DP&D characters are surprisingly multilingual for a bunch of teenaged Kentuckian suburbanites from the 1980s; many class packages outside of the core book include bonus languages, you can buy languages with skill points, and every positive INT mod is an additional language you speak.
Axe Goth Real?
Languages in RPGs is one of those things I always notice because you can use them to track basically where the authors are from, and when the book was written, with modern games typically being more free with them. I think it's a good thing, tbh, and typically adds a lot of depth to even basic characters when you have to consider why they're polyglots.
Axe Goth Real?
Anyways, Ability Scores do what you expect them to do, with Survival being the odd duck out. You don't roll Survival, it's a pool of points to spend to get rerolls. They come back at a rate of 1/session, to your cap.
Axe Goth Real?
The Player's Guide also includes the rule that every level up you get another Ability Score point though you cannot boost the same stat twice in a row, which means a max level character gets to add at most 3 to their stats. 18 is the hard cap unless something supernatural happens.
Axe Goth Real?
But still having a flat undeniable "I get to reroll this" mechanic is not super common in what I've seen of the OSR space, so I appreciate it.
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Starting HP is 2d6+CON mod, or a flat 5, whichever is more. HP gained per level is 1d6+CON mod. Again, this makes most DP&D characters more durable than the average OSR 1st level character, which is amazing because you're fucking teenagers.
Axe Goth Real?
I guess modern nutrition counts for something.
NOSFERATU!
not sure I feel like a language mechanic was really needed here
Axe Goth Real?
It probably wasn't but by the same token I'm not complaining, it's nice to see the game go "there's a decent chance your kid is bilingual, think about why for RP reasons."
Axe Goth Real?
HP is specifically meant to represent minor injuries and luck and will to fight, you regain your total at a full rest, and once per day if you can get five minutes to patch up a friend, grant someone else 1d4 HP back. You cannot Self-Care in this regard.
Axe Goth Real?
Characters also have saves: Courage, Critical Injury, Death, Mental, and Poison. Each save is 4d4+CON mod, max of 18. You get 2 points to add to your saves every level past 1. This means an average level 1 save range of 8 to 14, and typically everyone by law of averages is going to be good at something and bad at something.
Axe Goth Real?
Most the saves do what they say on the tin, with a couple notable exceptions: Courage isn't just flat your nerves, mundane intimidation attempts are still the purview of Charisma and Wisdom for the most part. Courage is for supernatural terror or for mundane threats that are serious life and limb type danger.
Axe Goth Real?
Failed terror checks tend to cause you some intense grief, but they're supposed to be rare.
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Likewise, Death Saves are for specifically 0 HP scenarios, when your character is trying not to get critical injuries from getting actually for real hurt. There is a chance to die from a failed Death Save but it's not actually directly common or guaranteed.
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I know I sound like a broken record here but this is both an OSR game where a lot of people take being downright cruel to PCs as the point because something something adversarial GMing Gygax, and a genre where a lot of games just arbitrarily make you suck because fuck you you're kids, it's amazing how competent DP&D characters are by benchmarks.
Axe Goth Real?
Next is a d100 chart for a random background for your kid. The Player's Guide supplements this with another d100 chart to give them a Trait. Backgrounds are roleplaying hooks/facts about your character and might include a mechanical aspect; Traits always include a mechanic bonus, so you get something for this.
NOSFERATU!
hell yeah d100 charts
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The benefits range from free skill points and languages to free ability score points to miscellaneous shit like one background giving you fucking permanent DR 1/everything.
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A few contain penalties; the ones that jump out in that regard are like, a couple of the random roll backgrounds are foreign exchange students, and you can be from Soviet Bloc or allied countries, which means you get a couple of free languages but also -1 on all social rolls with adults because Cold War paranoia.
Axe Goth Real?
And the few that're wholly negative carry no mechanical penalties, because that'd be really dickish and insensitive.
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(Parents are secretly abusive kind of hints at it by saying you have a fear of the dark from being locked in places like closets or the basement, but it's not mechanically enforced.)
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Traits like I said are all positive even if the trait itself isn't, and some provide some really wild abilities.
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1/100 chance your character regardless of class gets magic.
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A few that're "always have Advantage on x category of rolls" which can include saves.
NOSFERATU!
so real magic is a thing
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Magic is added in the player's guide, the core book only supports psychic powers.
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But yeah Magic is a thing and it's actually not class based so ultimately anyone can learn it.
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Magic spells cost temporary points of CON score, coming back at 1 a day; spells are broken up into Light and Heavy magic, with Light magic letting you make a then-and-there save to instantly recover 1 of the CON points spent on casting it.
Axe Goth Real?
...Hilariously there's one of the traits that provides you a free language for every level, so if I'm doing the math right that means you can, if you have that trait (Linguist), the right background (Cuban Exchange Student), the right Class (Nerd) start off natively fluent in English, Spanish, Russian, and 3-8 other languages of your choice.
Axe Goth Real?
And are guaranteed to learn a minimum of 7 others.
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I would rather this, for the record, than the usual way you see games handle language of "sink 3 skill points in this to be conversationally fluent, per language"
Axe Goth Real?
Anyways!
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We are now to the classes.
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There are 15 classes in the core book.
Axe Goth Real?
Well, no. There are 15 classes in the core book you don't need the permission of the GM to take.
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The Kid Scientist, The Nerd, The Geek, The Jock, The Extreme Athlete, The Karate Kid, The Breakdancer, The Goth, The Metal Head, The Preppy, The Princess, The Teen Heartthrob, The Bully, The Hood, and The Punk Rocker.
NOSFERATU!
jesus that's a lot
Axe Goth Real?
The corebook also has Experiment X, The Pyro, and The Telekinetic as optional classes with GM permission.
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Most the books add like another 3-6.
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Typically mostly general with 1-2 "ask the GM first" supernatural ones.
Axe Goth Real?
The Player's Guide adds nearly 20 more, about 5 of which are supernatural.
Axe Goth Real?
But there's gotta be a lot because this is old-school, you pick a class and you are locked in.
Axe Goth Real?
Bathroom break and I will continue.
Axe Goth Real?
Okay, so. Let's get into this.
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The Kid Scientist. All classes have Ability Score prereqs to get in, but since you arrange your score array however you want to this isn't as bad as it is in some games. Kid Scientist requires Intelligence of 13 or higher.
paradisaea
man as an outsider to this entire genre this is really fascinating actually?
Axe Goth Real?
At level 1 you get the following adjustments:
1 rank of the following skills: Computer, Mathematics, Mechanics, and Science.
A floating +2 (effectively expertise) to one of your starting skills.
+1 Intelligence or Quick-Witted (+1 to AC and Mental Saves)
-1 Strength
-1 Constitution
Axe Goth Real?
(aside: PCs get 4 skill ranks flat at level 1 and another 2+INT per level unless they get a trait that boosts it. Skills cap at 5 points, so these floating bonuses of +1 or +2 are really fucking strong.)
Axe Goth Real?
The Kid Scientist starts with a home computer, a library card, access to the school science labs (and the trust of the teachers there), a bicycle, fireworks (Earthbound reference? Here??), a flashlight, and a copy of Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo! because everyone starts with something typically to remind you it's the 80s.
Axe Goth Real?
Also 4d6 dollars; pretty much everyone starts with some amount of petty cash except a couple of classes who get comically rich to begin with.
Axe Goth Real?
Kid Scientist is kind of boring compared to other classes, though; it's level up bonuses are more floating +2s to the class skills or +1s to Outsmart (a unique skill used to trying to basically turn the tables on enemies who you can predict the actions of) and such.
Axe Goth Real?
5th level lets them break the rule of only 1 reroll per failed roll but only on the class skills, 6th level lets them add their +INT mod to their AC, and their capstone at 7th level is permanent Advantage on all Knowledge-based rolls.
Axe Goth Real?
Oh!
Axe Goth Real?
I should post the art for the classes, huh.
Axe Goth Real?
Kid Scientist:
https://images.plurk.com/2ZHzTYcvoKy5P5YwKn9qjn.png
NOSFERATU!
that's a huge teenager
Axe Goth Real?
Nerd:
https://images.plurk.com/402JurZcL0Wa4hV9ZiOxPk.png
Axe Goth Real?
Yeah the artist who did most of these doesn't seem to remember what teenage proportions are.
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Most of the art looks adult.
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Nerd is also an INT 13 class. Their adjustments at level 1:
Skills: Knowledge (General), Science
Choose any non-physical skill you know; you gain a +2 to it and also can reroll one failed roll per day for free with it.
+1 Intelligence
+1 Wisdom
-1 Strength
-1 Constitution
-1 Charisma
NOSFERATU!
jesus this art
Axe Goth Real?
It's not great!
Axe Goth Real?
That's the OSR charm bay-bee!
Axe Goth Real?
The Nerd gets a lot of more general bonuses as they level, +1s to all Knowledge skills, +1INT, +1 language, bonuses to Outsmart rolls, stuff like that.
Axe Goth Real?
At high level their jack-of-all trades blooms in some interesting ways; I think my favorite being their level 6 bonuses are you can now only outright fail your expertise skill roll on a 1 now, at worst you get a partial success otherwise, and also a random language.
Axe Goth Real?
There is a d100 language chart.
Axe Goth Real?
I rolled a 66; my nerd woke up one morning perfectly fluent in Korean.
621st Raven
the nerd art looks like Hank Hill and I can't unsee it now.
Axe Goth Real?
(I will say the nerd art I think is meant to be kind of black-coded and I appreciate that?)
Axe Goth Real?
And the final brainy class, The Geek, apparently played by Daria Morgendorffer and Velma Dinkley's daughter.
https://images.plurk.com/3xKjsdkNwtlnA5fXLjvicd.png
Axe Goth Real?
also what the fuck even is a spine.
Axe Goth Real?
Oh wait, forgot that the Nerd's random 80s object is a poster for Revenge of the Nerds.
Axe Goth Real?
Anyways, The Geek.
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Intelligence 9, because you're actually kind of the support brain. Level 1 bonuses:
+1 to all your Saving Throw scores
+2 skills of your choice at rank 1
Allies and friendly NPC bonuses get a floating +1 to their saves when you're around.
Axe Goth Real?
Basically you're uncool but not super brainy, but everyone who has gotten past that deeply appreciates your company. I gotta say, putting the weird kid as the Bard is both galaxy brain and makes a ton of sense, actually.
Axe Goth Real?
Your gear isn't much, but you get a bunch of 80's flavor items; your folks pay for subscriptions to Wizards Monthly and Star Finder magazines (both of which are either anachronisms or pastiches), and a Revenge of the Jedi poster (which would ironically be worth a shitton by modern standards).
NOSFERATU!
ah we're in the parallel universe
Axe Goth Real?
I mean not necessarily, there were Revenge of the Jedi posters made to hype up the movie before Lucas changed the name like 6 months before release, I've seen a few authenticated ones. But the magazines also point to an alternate timeline because Wizards didn't start publishing until 1991 and I cannot find a record of a Star Finder magazine.
Axe Goth Real?
Which I have consistently misspelled as Star Finger. Sadly the geek is not a Hamon master.
Axe Goth Real?
Rather than raw numbers, Geeks are able to do things like being able to socially take the heat for the entire group's actions, grant free rerolls on failed saves, get bonuses to their own saves, and being able to spend your own Survival points to let friends reroll anything (2/day total) at level 7.
Axe Goth Real?
I like it when support classes are powerful and the Geek is there to be the weird, fandom-obssessed heart of the team.
621st Raven
Geek is...really good support it looks like. Also being a social tank is a rather unique niche
Axe Goth Real?
And from there... THE JOCK.
https://images.plurk.com/56PftoD89Tlb5Ap7FLqvVq.png
paradisaea
that teenager is 45 years old.
Axe Goth Real?
YEAH.
NOSFERATU!
that's just norman osborn
Axe Goth Real?
There's like one or two that actually look like teens, everyone else looks like an adult.
Axe Goth Real?
So, the Jock requires Strength 12, Constitution 11, meaning it's actually tricky to get into compared to all the brainy folks. Their adjustments:
Skills: Basic Athletics (at Rank 4), your choice of Brawling or Wrestling
+1 Melee Damage
+1 to all Saving Throws
+1 Strength
+1 Constitution
-1 Intelligence
-1 Wisdom
Axe Goth Real?
Jock got the most errata gains because corebook Jocks sucked ass, and if anything they wound up kinda strong for it.
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By level 7 jocks have essentially maxed Basic Athletics and Intimidation scores for free, DR 2, and deal 2d6 with a punch or kick.
Axe Goth Real?
But it's kind of a slow growth thing and unlike most of the other fighty mans classes, Jocks never get a second attack.
Axe Goth Real?
Hell, some of the non-fighty classes get second attacks.
Axe Goth Real?
To quote the book:
STARTING GEAR: baseball bat or golf clubs, football pads, athletic clothing, 100d6 dollars, Letterman’s Jacket, hip clothing, a car (if 16 or older), several girl's/guy's phone numbers
Axe Goth Real?
I quote this because on average we run on 80's teen movie logic so popular kids also tend to have more money (all our brainy buddies get 4d6 dollars by comparison).
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And also because... this book handles inclusion really weirdly and unevenly. There's a class that is genderlocked, for example, and another that specifically gets penalties to the same sex and bonuses to the opposite sex.
Axe Goth Real?
But the game itself also makes pains 90% of the time to do things like the above "several guys/girls phone numbers" and the player's guide has a d100 roll chart for your celebrity crushes that is gender split and goes "pick one or use both!"
Axe Goth Real?
It feels like people who don't have a lot of involvement with LGBT folks trying and not always succeeding? Which that's up to you if that's okay or not.
Axe Goth Real?
anyway brb real quick.
Axe Goth Real?
Right, back with The Extreme Athlete! https://images.plurk.com/4LPzmxBIKA5gnl9NY2qVxp.png
Axe Goth Real?
Extreme Athlete requires 12 DEX and 9 CON. Their bonuses:
+ A BMX Bike, Skateboard, or Surfboard, your choice.
+ Skill: Basic Athletics
+ 1 Dexterity OR +1 AC and 1 free reroll/day
+ 2 on any roll when riding your extreme sport vehicle OR Skill: Trick Riding
Honestly these bonuses are paltry and you should probably just give them all of them.
moontouched
oh this is actually fun to read? enjoyable? how exciting
Axe Goth Real?
Though the fact that you get a +2 when riding your vehicle regardless of what the skill check is is hilarious to me. Do chemistry on a skateboard! Ride your BMX in a circle while trying to convince someone of the truth! Surf down the Ohio River while fighting sahaguin for ultimate advantage!
Axe Goth Real?
By level 7 an Extreme Athlete has damage reduction and maxed Trick Riding and Athletics for free and is rolling a +4 with up to 3 rerolls whenever they're doing something on their vehicle of choice. It is a class all in on its gimmick and I kind of love that?
Axe Goth Real?
We move now to The Karate Kid, who... actually looks like a teenager?
https://images.plurk.com/44y7CiKKRPRj5XIWb71bsB.png
Axe Goth Real?
Karate Kid requires DEX 9 and CON 8. At first level they gain:
+ Skills: Basic Athletics, Language (Any Asian or Russian), Martial Arts
+ 1 Dexterity
+ 1 Armor Class
- 1 Charisma (specifically because people think you're weird)
Axe Goth Real?
Your bonuses are all pretty much directly combat related; by level 7 you're hitting twice per round, have a +3 natural AC, DR 2, +2 to hit with melee attacks, can reroll combat misses with survival points, and once per day can just declare a hit misses you.
Axe Goth Real?
But you are the weirdo walking around town in a sleeveless gi with a set of nunchaku and shuriken so people are rightly wary of you.
Axe Goth Real?
Your "hey this is the 80s" items are a lot of Bruce Lee posters (explicitly a lot), and a VHS copy of The Last Dragon:
The Last Dragon - OFFICIAL TRAILER
Axe Goth Real?
Still, social stigma is a small price to pay for being Surburban Kenshiro.
Axe Goth Real?
From there we move to The Breakdancer! and wow that might be the worst drawing yet.
https://images.plurk.com/4e0Twar8t4e5w5FmFmn2i2.png
paradisaea
jesus
Axe Goth Real?
B-Boying requires Dexterity 11. Your first level skill kit is:
+ Skills: Art & Music, Basic Athletics, Brawling, Dancing
+ 1 Armor Class
+ Can make a DC 15 dance check to distract an enemy, making them focus on you with +2 for one round.

That's right, Breakdancers get a fucking taunt.
Axe Goth Real?
Breakdancers get bonuses to AC and Initative scores, floating bonuses to Dance checks, the same negate and rerolls Karate Kids get, and some minor DR. Combat-wise, you're some kind of evade tank.
moontouched
HOW DO YOU DO, FELLOW KIDS
Axe Goth Real?
Yeah, it is peak "this is a 30 year old playing a teenager in our CW show" art.
Axe Goth Real?
Now, from there, we move to The Goth who is so spooky she defies the art conventions of this book so far:
https://images.plurk.com/3snNm6CT2IFF1Ce10goYUT.png
Axe Goth Real?
Okay so The Goth is so different from every other class so far that I need to break down her gains on a per level because this is where, when reading this for the first time, I went "okay wait, what?"
Axe Goth Real?
No prereqs for this class, by the way. If you want to be goth just fucking put on the black shirt and take this Djarum Black, we're about to listen to Only Theater of Pain for the 20th time this afternoon.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 1:
+ Skills: Art & Music, Fashion, Intimidation, Paranormal
+2 to Hide Checks
+1 Armor Class
- 1 Charisma (the above three justified on "people ignore you as best as they can")
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Level 2: +1 Paranormal, can see ghosts and spirits.
Level 3: +1 Paranormal, can communicate with ghosts and spirits.
Level 4: +2 Initiative, Can make a DC 16 Paranormal check to see into The Other Side for 1d6 minutes, min. 1 hour between attempts.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 5: +1 Outsmart, can spend 2 Survival Points on any failed roll, can communicate with beings in The Other Side when you can see it.
Level 6: +2 Paranormal, immune to Level and Attribute drain from attacks and abilities.
Level 7: Can touch the incorporeal; +4 AC, +4 damage, and DR: vs. Incorporeal Beings 4.
paradisaea
....GOTH SUPREMACY
Axe Goth Real?
Don't get me wrong, everyone else has roughly the same power scale, some slightly better or worse, but Goths just randomly are like "oh I can see the dead and interact with the nightmare realm casually, nbd."
Axe Goth Real?
I was not expecting the Goths to just be fucking wizards.
Axe Goth Real?
Anyways, with that spring in our step now, we move to THE METAL HEAD:
https://images.plurk.com/6P9SWtuSvxFlWz0ZG74R2E.png
Also to be fair to the artist, every single metal head I know looks like this roughly from the age of 16 to 45.
moontouched
that's amazing
Axe Goth Real?
Metal Head also has to have the same breakdown that Goth did.
Axe Goth Real?
Only prereq is Any non-Good (so Neutral or Evil, DP&D doesn't do the chaos/law axis). Level 1 Benefits:
+Skills: Art & Music, Brawling, Paranormal.
+1 Melee Attack
+2 on all checks relating to music knowledge or performance.
-2 on all interactions with authority figures.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 2: 1/day Call on the Demons - +2 AC, +2 HP, +2 to-hit, -2 all saves, last 2d6 hours.
Level 3: +1 Paranormal, 1/day Power of Dio - auto 20 on a roll
Level 4: Call for Revenge - +2 to-hit and damage, -1 AC, only effects anyone who has hit you in the last 24 hours.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 5: DC 15 music performance to summon a minor demon to do your bidding. Lasts 1d6 days or until it dies. May try 1/day, 1 demon limit.
https://images.plurk.com/vXjzdn8vF79nedPXfYBVw.png
Axe Goth Real?
Level 6: +2 Art & Music, 2/day Power of Dio
Level 7: extra survival point usage for failed combat rolls, demon limit upped to 2.
Axe Goth Real?
THE SATANIC PANIC WAS RIGHT IN DARK PLACES & DEMOGORGONS
Axe Goth Real?
METAL ABSOLUTELY GIVES YOU DEVIL POWERS
moontouched
hell Y EAH
Axe Goth Real?
I do appreciate the split though.
Axe Goth Real?
Goths get inborn natural powers to deal with the world of the dead, Metal Heads learn that Satan is their best friend and patron and gain power accordingly.
Axe Goth Real?
Anyways, moving away from this we hit what is arguably a class more powerful than them.
Axe Goth Real?
https://images.plurk.com/84tZ1rm1FDJVP8X2PqlSc.png
The Preppy! Requires Charisma 10 and "a disdain for all lower lifeforms." Bonuses are:
+Skills: Basic Athletics, Driving, Fashion (at 3), Persuasion
+1 Charisma
+ Daddy's Money: Whenever you get in trouble with the law, your dad will bail you out (unless you do something really horrible, well, then again...)
Axe Goth Real?
Combine with their starting equipment:
STARTING EQUIPMENT: a car (if 16 or older), nicest clothes, shoes, food, etc. possible, Golf clubs, 1000d6 dollars, jet ski, boat, membership in the country club, in home servants (2d6)

And the Preppy I would argue is hands down the most powerful starting class with a clever player.
Axe Goth Real?
Preppy's have a unique set of powers: they are the best drivers in the game, weirdly enough. At level 3 they gain Daddy's Credit Card: which is another $5000 dollars they can spend however they need to. Level 5 grants them a full-time bodyguard:
https://images.plurk.com/5xg0Qa8im06VDTcXUYnClD.png
Which means you're also not useless in a fight because you have a guard.
Axe Goth Real?
By level 7 you had permanent advantage and extra rerolls and skill bonuses for Persuasion among other skills, too. So you're a hypercompetent face with more money and toys than anyone, more access to places than anyone, and an ablative meatshield.
Axe Goth Real?
Sure no cool satan powers, no karate tricks, but who cares? Everyone's gotta do what you say, more or less.
Axe Goth Real?
Okay so.
Axe Goth Real?
Here is Problematic Class the first.
Axe Goth Real?
https://images.plurk.com/1iVX59y6TNDF0fUiNwSIFn.png
The Princess. Charisma 10, female only.
+Skills: Dancing, Driving, Fashion (+2), Persuasion
+2 floating bonus to Persuasion vs. the opposite sex or parents.
+2 Charisma
-2 Strength
Axe Goth Real?
Kinda yikes, though it's interesting how your bonuses are targeted at boys, while your equipment includes "a shoebox full of love notes from admirers" without any kind of gender identifier. I think you could interpret this as just being very good at making teenage boys do what the fuck you want, rather than an attraction thing.
Axe Goth Real?
But this is probably me doing apologetics for this game.
Axe Goth Real?
Probably the latter, because among a bunch of bonuses making you an incredible face, your level 5 gain is "Dream Boyfriend NPC or an expensive item."
Axe Goth Real?
Sorry I can't give you a girlfriend by RAW, do you want a sports car?
Axe Goth Real?
Princess is mostly justified out at their level 7 power, where you become a celebrity and get $100,000, and for not having the moral stench of Preppy assholishness, but otherwise it's kind of a weaker class.
Axe Goth Real?
And now we move as quick as we can to the second super problematic class... the uh.... hold on.
Axe Goth Real?
Hold the fuck on.
Axe Goth Real?
The class is called The Teen Heartthrob. Why does it look like this?!
https://images.plurk.com/5NCg7Sl3wRUEYHewiVqwM7.png
Axe Goth Real?
That is Johnny Cage crossed with Uncle Pulltab, how in the fuck is that your teen or your heartthrob to say nothing of both.
Axe Goth Real?
Anyways, your requirements are Charisma 16. This is hands down the rarest class in the game, outside of the GM permission ones.
+Skills: Dancing, Fashion, Persuasion, Stealth, your choice of Art & Music OR Theater.
+2 Persuasion checks on the opposite sex.
-2 Persuasion checks on the same sex.
-You draw attention at all times unless you make efforts.
Axe Goth Real?
For sheer raw number the Heartthrob is the actual social monster, trading a lot of the cool finesse stuff for just pure math. By level 7 they will hit Charisma 18, they will had Advantage on Performance, Persuasion, and Dancing, and their bonus against the opposite sex is a +4 by the end.
Axe Goth Real?
Again, a gender neutral "a lot of phone numbers." on their gear list, and the nature of celebrity, makes me think this is less on a sexual preference enforced by the game and more on 80's culture was really fucking shitty to gay people.
Axe Goth Real?
With those two in the rearview, though... let me use the toilet real quick.
paradisaea
I feel like it's very like....heteronormative in the sense of "we don't actually know what these subcultures were like in the 80s so we're not going to include them in any way but obliquely"?
paradisaea
it's not malicious but it does feel like they're uncomfortable with talking about it.
paradisaea
so they just like, don't.
paradisaea
Which, given this is a game set in rural kentucky in the 80s and is horror-themed I feel like they at least owed it to us to discuss it, especially given the ttrpg scene in 2021.
emotionalExplosions
the hell is this art
Axe Goth Real?
Rough, is what it is.
moontouched
it sure is a certain type of artist, doing a certain type of art
Axe Goth Real?
https://images.plurk.com/4BmtsnK7THVDAS25lfm3oQ.png
The Bully! Strength 10, non-Good alignment. At first level, they get:
+ Skills: Basic Athletics, choice of the fighting styles (Brawling, Martial Arts, or Wrestling),
+2 on any Intimidation check vs. someone with less Strength
+1 Strength
-2 Charisma
Axe Goth Real?
The Bully is mostly another physical bruiser like The Jock and The Karate Kid, though they also notably start with poor clothes and less money than any class (2d6 dollars), implying they're bullies because of victims of circumstance.
Axe Goth Real?
I think their most interesting thing is they can force a DC 13 Mental Save versus Intimidation, which means they're fucking terrifying just shy of being supernatural.
Axe Goth Real?
Which brings us to The Hood!
https://images.plurk.com/1mTHPdXTZHwZD1VR0B2VWx.png
連続犬
I am fashionably late, but I'm here!
paradisaea
this dude's here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, not go to high school
Axe Goth Real?
I know that it came out in the year 2000 but this dude is literally if you compressed "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus both in terms of picture and mechanical writeup.
Axe Goth Real?
Hood is the class you hand your buddy who goes "If it's the 80s, I want to play Han Solo."
Axe Goth Real?
Because I was mistaken, Hood is actually the class where you wind up with a literal superhuamn ability to drive a car by level 7.
Axe Goth Real?
Hood! Any non-good alignment.
+ Skills: Brawling, Driving, your choice of 1 of Electronics, Mechanics, or Outdoorsman, which you get at rank 1 and a floating +1 to.
-2 on all rolls involving authority figures.
Axe Goth Real?
Their big gain compared to all the other combat classes, despite not being a combat class, is at level 2 you just get a fucking gun and the skills to use it, because you are designed to be the character who everyone goes "wait where the fuck did you get a gun?!"
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"We're going to solve the mystery of this fucked up backwoods midwest town with the power of teenage camraderie"
"And also this gun I found!"
"Wait, what!?"
Axe Goth Real?
https://images.plurk.com/313koB8GCIjOgme7G8iLJi.png
Gear in its entirety, to drive the point home. I honestly dig it for the same reason I love the skateboarder because it is just all-in on the gimmick, and the gimmick is being a scumbag with a heart of gold. Maybe. Probably.
Axe Goth Real?
And the last of the normal classes, the Punk Rocker.
https://images.plurk.com/2S78Jno8g1UnfsZYzKhPqj.png
emotionalExplosions
The teen movie version of this: https://images.plurk.com/5AdZlWrvchPIAG8cIkd5An.jpg
Axe Goth Real?
Absolutely yes.
Axe Goth Real?
I love The Hood.
Axe Goth Real?
The Punk Rocker is another slow-burn class, it has no prereqs so if all else fails you can be a punk, and their gimmick makes them kind of an alternative, reactive heart of the party compared to The Geek.
Axe Goth Real?
The Punk starts with the following:
+ Skills: Art & Music, Intimidation, Knowledge (General), your choice of Driving or Photography.
+1 any Ability Score.
+2 to all Intimidation checks against non-punks and goths.
-2 to all skill checks against authority figures.
連続犬
I kind of appreciate the low-key both mechanical and thematic enforcement of half the classes clearly not being trusted by anyone over the age of 25.
Axe Goth Real?
Yeah, I also deeply appreciate that.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 2: +1 Armor Class
Level 3: +2 to all Fear, Intimidation, and Terror Checks.
Level 4: +2 to all Saving Throws.
Level 5: +2 (+4 total) to Terror Checks, +2 to Intimidation attempts, Immunity to Fear and Intimidation checks
連続犬
It kind of cuts away the usual elfgame idea of "well we're not sure if we're gonna be able to pull this off without dying so let's call up our most powerful acquaintence and see if they'll do us a solid."
Axe Goth Real?
Level 6: +1 to-hit and damage on melee attacks, Damage Reduction 2
Level 7: +1 Survival, may spend a second survival point to reroll any failed combat, skill, or save roll.
Axe Goth Real?
So Punks start off kind of shit and by max level are basically cockroaches.
Axe Goth Real?
You can't scare or threaten them unless you're a supernatural entity, and half the time that doesn't work, and if you try to hit them or use any powers on them it takes more effort for less effect.
Axe Goth Real?
連続犬 Yeah, I also like that. Mind you the game in general nails a tone where even starting characters are pretty competent both socially/mentally and in a scrap against other mundane threats, even adults because it turns out a teenager wilding out can punch out someone not trained for a fight, but supernatural threats remain fucking scary.
Axe Goth Real?
And part of that is, exactly as you say, because half the classes in the game basically get blown off or blamed for shit by everyone who's legally able to drink.
Axe Goth Real?
Okay, before I continue on, I'm going to do the three Psionic classes. The core book includes these, the Player's guide adds (among it's massive list of classes) some magic ones, but by default you're in full Stranger Things territory here.
Axe Goth Real?
Psionic powers are a Wisdom check when that is relevant. When using them, you have a chart to check too that uses only the raw d20 roll for your activation of them. You always roll this even if the power doesn't require them. Fizzles mean the power doesn't work and you lose your turn in combat. 3 Fizzles in a row costs you a permanent point of CON.
Axe Goth Real?
https://images.plurk.com/54kzP6R8q4LOkgpVelqrEv.png
Axe Goth Real?
If I counted right that's 9 Fizzles and 11 successes, so odds are slightly in your favor not to die from psychic powers. It's also a counterpoint to magic which is likely to kill you for relying on it.
連続犬
I was gonna say this definitely looks like it could kill you immediately.
Axe Goth Real?
It can fuck you up rough but casting magic literally costs CON points that come back 1/day, which weaker magic spells having a chance to instantly refund you their cost.
Axe Goth Real?
So "maybe does damage to you" is actually nicer than "I need to choose between mage armor to not die and passing out from anemia"
連続犬
I guess the only two that feel like total death sentences are "Stunned for 1d4 rounds with -2 AC" and "oops you plane shifted, you'll be back in 1d4 rounds."
Axe Goth Real?
Experiment X
No art for these. Requires INT 14, CON 12, WIS 10.
+2 Mental Saves
+1 INT or WIS
+ Psionic attack: Make an Activate Psionics check, pick up to 3 targets, each take 1d6 damage.
+ Every time you use psychic powers, you can see and communicate with The Other Side for 1 minute.
- 1 CHA
- 1 on melee to-hit
- No Skills or Background at 1st level.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 2: +2 skills, +2 to-hit on Psionic Attack. Gain Psionic Fear: Activate psionic powers, up to 3 targets must save vs. Mental or run away for 1d6 minutes.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 3: +2 skills, +2 Mental save, +1 WIS. Gain Psionic Flee: Activate psionic powers, you and all allies on foot or muscle powered vehicle double speed for 1d6 minutes.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 4: +1 skill. Advantage on Mental saves. Gain Psionic Hold: Activate psionic powers, up to 3 targets must save vs. Mental or pass out for 1d6 minutes.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 5: +1 skill and Outsmart. Activate 2 psychic powers at once (roll for both; fizzle negates both save side effects). Both effects are capped at the same 1d6 minutes. Gain Phasing: at will, you may leave or enter the other side with up to 1 other. Unwilling targets require a Psychic Attack roll.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 6: +1 Skill. Can use Survival Points for 1 additional attempt at rerolling failed Psychic powers.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 7: Gain Mind Drain. Activate psychic powers; on a fizzle or successful save, you take 1d6-1 damage. If successful, they take 4d6 damage, stopping at 1 HP, and you gain 1d6 temporary HP and 1 CON for 1 hour. If they are dropped to 1 HP by this, they pass out for 1d6 minutes, and are at half Saves and INT score for 1d6 hours afterwards.
Axe Goth Real?
The Pyro! Intelligence 10, Wisdom 13.
+ Skills: Intimidation, Paranormal, Photography, Stealth.
+ DR 1/Fire
+1 to Critical and Mental saves
+1 on Psionic attack to-hit
+Pyrotechnics: Activate psychic power to make and control a small flame in a 10 foot radius. Cannot damage but can blind; failed save is -2 AC, -4 to-hit, half speed for 1d6 min.
-1 Charisma
Axe Goth Real?
Level 2: Pyro attack: requires a flame, you can hit someone within a 100 foot radius for 1d6+1 damage, sets them on fire.
Level 3: Snuff fire at will, DR 2/Fire
Level 4: DR 3/Fire, You may look into a flame and make a Psionic power check to see into and communicate with the other side for 1d6 minutes.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 5: Spontaneous Combustion - 2 activate psionics rolls, fizzle on either negates. Success instantly kills the target as they explode in fire. +3 on both checks if they're already on fire.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 6: Immune to fire, +3 on intimidation checks, can intensify fire at will (+1 damage to people/things on fire every turn spent doing this).
Axe Goth Real?
Level 7: Fireball - activate powers check, everyone and everything in 5 x 100 foot area takes 4d6 fire damage, DEX save halves.
Axe Goth Real?
So you start off as party tricks and end as fucking Mitochondrial Eve.
Axe Goth Real?
Telekinetic! Intelligence 11, Wisdom 12.
+Skills: Paranormal, Any Knowledge, Any Skill.
+1 Psionic Attack to-hit
+1 Mental Saves
-1 Charisma
Two powers: Telekinesis and Push.
moontouched
goddamn
Axe Goth Real?
Telekinesis: Move up to 1lb of objects at will, and make a psionic attack to deal 1 damage.
Push: Psionic attack, 100' range, success deals 1d4 damage and pushes the target up to 20 feet in any direction.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 2: +1 Paranormal. Telekinesis now moves 2 lbs, deals 2 damage. Gain Psionic Hold (as per Experiment X).
Level 3: +1 Mental saves. Gain Wall of Force: Activate psionic powers, success you can make a 10x10 foot wall of force, blocks all attacks, can be suspended, climbed, used as a boat.... why a boat? Lasts 1d6 minutes.
NOSFERATU!
why not a boat
Axe Goth Real?
Fair enough.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 4: Telekinesis now does 5lbs/1d6 damage. Gain Levitation: make up to 5 people float up to 10 feet off the ground for 1d6 minutes.
Level 5: Psionic Ultimate. Two psionic activation checks; fizzle on either negates, versus their Mental save. On successful save they take 1d6 damage. On failure their head explodes, killing them instantly.
連続犬
presumably you're just pushing this massive invisible raft along like you're pretending you're from Castaway.
連続犬
also jesus these psychic powers are insane.
Axe Goth Real?
YEAH.
Axe Goth Real?
Ramp up real fast.
Fudoki
Hence the great peril every time you use them.
Axe Goth Real?
Level 6: +2 Mental saves. Telekinesis is increased to 20 lbs/1d10 damage.
Level 7: Telekinesis is increased to 30 lbs/2d6 damage. You may make a Psionic powers roll to temporarily double your Telekinetic lift (or add +1d6 damage) for 1d6 minutes. This effect can be stacked.
Axe Goth Real?
So again, level 1? Neat party trick. Level 7? AKIRA.
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TETSUOOOOOOOO
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