Wintermelon
[MH/RP] taking an orderly approach to yesterday night's little breakdown 
Wintermelon
RP is just a small part of this mind you, but it's important
Wintermelon
About twice a year I have a pretty bad snap over the course of the day or two just regarding feeling unimportant and disposable and irritating, and selfish for that
ChickletLARP
:: sits with and listens::
:: sits with and listens::
Wintermelon
This has been going on since early highschool and obviously the problem is, in general, loneliness and untreated mental illness abound
Wintermelon
Considering how this year has been, and how much time I've spent alone, it's a surprise it took until no
Wintermelon
now
Wintermelon
But, obviously, the last week or so has been pretty wack
Wintermelon
So much of my family has gotten sick, the country is in shambles, I'm so frustrated with people
Wintermelon
and I feel like I've accomplished very little because of that, not that I can even blame myself
Wintermelon
It's the same old garbage, feeling disposable in people's lives, feeling like I'm not a staple or unreplaceable part of the lives of the people I care about.
batsquatch
I see yeah
ChickletLARP
Sorry, but aren't you the same person who made a whole Discord server for people to help each other put and lift each other up, helping us all to work on our goals?
ChickletLARP
Are you forgetting how helpful that has been to us?
ChickletLARP
You accomplish a lot, we see it there. Both in what you post there and that it exists.
ChickletLARP
You aren't disposable.
ChickletLARP
Right now... the world has gone off its communal rocker. I spent most of the last three days in bed. It happens.
ChickletLARP
You're holding up better than some world leaders I could mention.
ChickletLARP
You are loved and appreciated. And for good reason.
ᴍᴏᴍᴏᴄʜᴋᴀ »
/sits with
Wintermelon
I apologize for returning to this so late. Winter is pretty rough on me despite trying to do better with getting up at normal hours and exercising, I've fallen off again on that first regard but I'm doing my best
Wintermelon
My social battery is basically empty and I've felt very boring and incidental to RP due to low engagement and summoning up energy for toplevels or Apps has been a struggle
Wintermelon
but obviously I'm trying to do better about that
Wintermelon
it's a lot of anxiety and a lot of lethargy battling it out
Wintermelon
And I guess my feeling unimportant is on personal levels I guess? and there's some personal failure issues feeling so bad about my struggle to find a job and my future career and such, but the job market is terrible right now and that's just life
Wintermelon
but I really appreciate the kind words and encouragement and I'm trying to do better and make an effort
ᴍᴏᴍᴏᴄʜᴋᴀ »
everything is very hard right now ;; but we believe in you!!!
Wintermelon
ᴍᴏᴍᴏᴄʜᴋᴀ »
╭╭(V)▽_▽(V)╮╮⛄
