there are almost certainly some people on the barge he mentally misgenders as 'he' (including Jasper, ironically, who does the reverse) because how do you tell for civilians????
he HAS a fairly normal sex drive, and feels fairly guilty about it and doesn't WANT it because it's not what he's made for or supposed to be doing, it's messy and distracting and hard to control and all of that makes him uncomfortable, so he represses it a lot and has jerked off like once in his short life and never again and this is only part of why
honestly too self-absorbed with ego and anxiety to notice other people, and other bodies are either 'I have one of those, have seen a million of those my whole life, not exactly Thrilling™' or 'alien and scary and civilian!!! and more of a real person than me and I am DUBIOUS'
and I think the things that do make him sit up and notice are less physical/gender/body stuff and more power stuff - he definitely has a crush on Rex, the hardass superior officer who Has Said Nice Things To Him At Least Twice, and he has probably had at least a couple horribly weird sex dreams about Krell holding him down with some of those four arms >_>
he's pan in that he can be attracted to aliens and doesn't Get gender, but a more narrow-minded parochial pan person might be hard to find, and Confirmed Women Are Scary and Mysterious
he's not a Stone Top in a lot of different ways but the idea of that particular kind of sexual role/act is definitely one that appeals to him, maybe the one that appeals to him most or would if he ever, ever, ever thought about it, but also not the only one
I think she just kind of spent 15 years assuming that she was straight and hadn't had any major crushes because 1) the hick boys in Shrove Wood, Florida, were mostly dumb cretins who were shitty to her because she's an albino freak, and 2) not like she had TV or magazines to get celebrity crushes
and then she was busy being A SOLDIER OF GOD (and teeeechnically I'm homeless~) and somewhere along the line had a meet cute with a werewolf girl that definitely included lots of mean banter and a fight to the death and then the cute ghost werewolf girl saved her life and made her laugh and traveled with her for awhile until Dancy Fucked Up
and then she desperately fought against the dark gods who were possessing her to save Maisie's life after Maisie came back somehow and succeeded and died for it without Ever Acknowledging Anything
and went to Hell and her Angel gave her an illusion of coming back to life that involved hooking up with Maisie in a motel, definitely lesbian sex with 0 discussion of feelings or catholicism, letting Maisie bite her and make her a werewolf, and then maisie getting abducted and held hostage to force dancy to do some bullshit
I think Dancy identifies very very little with femininity but fairly significantly with womanhood, as someone raised by her mother and grandmother with no major male influences at any point
so like, she wasn't pushed into or exposed to much stereotyping or patriarchal bullshit - there were just women and they did everything that needed to be done
I think Dancy likes having long hair and I think she would react pretty badly to the idea of nonbinary or agender, because now that I think about it, some of the "albino freak" bullying probably featured people calling her 'it'
and like, she's "catholic" the way that weird apocalypse cults are "Catholic" - she's way outside the orbit of catechism with her own weird zealotry, and I think she doesn't actually have Catholic Guilt™ about it
but she does very much have a "sure I love maisie" and "the thing people with LIVES do is get married, which is obviously one man and one woman" but she's not a person with a life, she's a person with a mission (or a ghost without one)
there's an offhand bit mental narration from her in the psuedo-canonical novel where she notices a gay boy in the library, and seems to have no particular digust or vitriol for him but is also like "he's a bit whispy" and expects him to treat her badly on a classism dimension (although obv not thinking in that language)
he's functionally a strong kinsey 5 - his sexuality is overwhelmingly dude-oriented but sometimes an exceptional woman comes along and whacks his attention
Taura is a glorious femme lady but she could also easily benchpress him with one hand and has shoulders for days, Missy had an austere victorian domme androgyny
"perfect chivalric pining silent love for his best friend and chief of staff without ever speaking a word" to "short-term dalliances only; a non-trivial amount of sex club orgies/glory hole setups in amongst the bar hookups" to "deeply intimate but horrifyingly abusive relationships in which Jedao blames himself for his complicity bc he IS horny in them"
on the barge he's starting to compartmentalize a little less, and pull the chivalry and intimacy and hound-dog-ness together into numerous relationships of varying intensity and less extremely dodgy shit
he falls in love easily but mentally distinguishes between "I love this person and am delighted for them and want good things for them" and "I love this person and I need them in my life"
which is not at all actually a FWB vs Romance division because he often thinks of Romantic Chivalric Pining as "it'll never happen" until his own Charisma results in it Definitely Happen
all of this however also runs over a darker colder anoxic brine pool of viewing sex and his own body as a tool, and specifically a tool which he has been trained to use in the service of causes both good and mostly bad
he has been partly lucky, partly kept safe by his own extreme aversion to certain kinds of selfishness, but especially early in his barge tenure, there was a confluence between "sex is something I do for other people and take pride in my work and hey I Always Like It Anyway" and "telling people what you really want makes you vulnerable"
where he definitely tried to hyperfocus on fulfilling some partner's fantasies sort of regardless of his own desires and compartmentalized away the occasional discomfort, in ways that with less generous and kind partners could have been a lot worse than it was
and then also he's just super duper hugely kinky, giant switch, creative, mean, loves teaching and scheming and overwhelming (the same way he loves Giant Orchestrated Romantic Gestures) but also
giant bondage sub, also has a huge kink for being ignored/objectified/used, ok with edging and orgasm denial in a "stuck being hard for ages" way but would be badly triggered by the same in a "make you want it so bad and taunt you, what would you do to be allowed to come" way
Slinksensuality - slinky + sensuality. How Incapable of sitting up straight are you + how frequently are your eyes half-lidding when speaking to someone huskily
Maquillage - the only actual real word, How Much Do You Make-up??? do you shave your legs??? do you do your hair??? how much is your face and body appearance a cultivated effort of beauty and polish
Flamboyánte - DIFFERENT from Maquillage - how DRAMATICALLY do you gesture and how much sequins are in your ideal outfit. have you ever danced on top of a table wearing something that is not a hat as a hat
it sort of goes Triangles/Knifegender - seductive/passive/asthetics - Circles/Bombshell - FEELINGS - Squares/Muscles/Stronkgender - action/aggression - back to Knifegender
she also definitely is a bit gobsmacked by the glamor of the Sireen, who is evil but v sexy