[mood/vent/mute]

my brother A just got mad at me cause between our tv and the music my mom is playing in the kitchen i couldn't hear him

he's been in some mood all day and when we try to talk to him about it he goes "oh well my mind still isn't well yet and it's the pills fault" and i'm just so tired

so i got mad back and basically told him he can't blame the pills cause he's been working with his doctors and our dad has been gone for 10 years now and he got a lot of help so idk anymore

i just feel that he shouldn't blame the pills whenever we tell him we can't hear him when he speaks softly in our noisy family

i have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and depression but i work not to take it out on anymore even if it means crying in my car after work i'll slap on a smile and keep it moving

i'm just tired of him getting mad when he talks softly and we tell him we can't hear him

then instead of taking responsibility it's always "oh it's my pills"

i had to take care of myself, get therapy, i'm still not medicated and yet i don't snap at people or even point out that the reason he hasn't gotten far is because he doesn't move my mom offers help, i offer help, but he won't take it then get mad about not moving forward i

i'm tired

even more so cause i don't know when it will be safe for me to go traveling again

i keep telling him if there's something wrong he needs to talk to the right people

he keeps talking about being irritated for no reason and i'm like TALK TO THE RIGHT PEOPLE instead of taking it out on me

now that me and my mom have worked on stuff she's been focusing on him and now he can't handle it but i'm like look people in the wild are going to say they can't hear you so that doesn't mean you get mad at them

and i know that dad dying took a toll on all of us but like i don't think that it's not fair to snap at us and go "oh you know my mind isn't good"

wish i could take my anger out on people and blame my anxiety

coming back here cause now he walked to my room to ask if he was talking loud enough now why does my brothers do this whenever me and my mom tells them something like this

my brother F still goes "Am I playing too loud" all because my mom told him to stop yelling at the screen when he plays in July of last year now I'm gonna be bothered all day all cause I told him I couldn't hear him sighs