have a feeling RP isn't going to happen tonight either.

not been feeling great today (seems I managed to catch a cold), my brain keeps wanting to think about stupid stuff from the past, and while work started off okay it's just a headache at this point. so yeah idk if I'm going to get to anything tonight.

apologies to everyone who's waiting on stuff from me, I appreciate how tolerant you all are

also tbh my brain started drifting into RP anxiety bs and thoughts of "maybe I should just stay in my own sandbox" after glancing at something. but I've since skimmed something else and am feeling a little better.

sometimes I do wonder if I dig too much into things and consider too much nuance, at least compared what others might be expecting (or willing to deal with). but I can't not; to me that's part of having a three-dimensional character and I do it no matter the "genre" of my muses.

one thing I've definitely come to realize about fandom RP, and one of the downsides in comparison to other types imo, is how easily comparisons can be made between how people choose to play/write the same character.

at times it's a positive, certainly, such as when wondering if you're the only one who sees something a certain way. but others not so much.

idk what I'm trying to get at, other than just getting thoughts out of my head when I should be working.

but I do definitely wonder sometimes. on both interpretation and writing itself. usually if I write too much or too formal, etc.

which is dumb. I know it is. but in this hobby...

all this stuff also isn't helped by me trying not to be bummed about CR I've been dying for to drop in my lap out of nowhere and then seem to disappear just as fast

idk I'm just rambling pointlessly now

Feel better!

<3

I definitely take different approaches to characters too. Sometimes I will bristle at character takes or people expressing their thoughts on character takes but then I think about when I do the same thing, it's more me trying to parse through my own thoughts and make sense of different aspects

but reading some of the things I've written on my own plurk, I'm like oh I can see how that comes off as a judgement when I really did mean it as a I'm trying to work through this approach y'know

but also. it gets in your head and anxiety is a horrible beast.

don't compare yourself to others! it's a losing game no matter how you slice it. you write what you write, and you do it well.

it's a hobby; write what you like to write and how you like to write it. I admit if someone writes a lot of beautiful words I feel like I have to bring my A game whereas, you know, text spam is text spam and sometimes that's what my brain will tolerate.

but you're definitely not "too" anything. don't let bad brain convince you that you're anything but a joy to write with.