pancake
[art] I opened up my sketchbook for the thing I'm working on but then I found some old sketches that I really like
pancake
https://images.plurk.com/6V4oS73BMhVHgjbX9vzgut.jpg https://images.plurk.com/1G4NS3toq5iRVauEcCBtsz.jpg
pancake
it took me Y E A R S to start drawing faces that I like, for the longest time I would put faces in shadow or cover them in hair so that I wouldn't ruin my drawings with ugly faces. This is after I had a job drawing faces all day lol. It persisted for months after I took an art class focused SOLELY ON FACES with a well-known instructor.
pancake
In this same sketchbook, I found some of those sketches. This is from maybe a week or two earlier.
pancake
https://images.plurk.com/5HYkewLnZqF7GLfn5ikn1A.jpg
pancake
"oh no I like this drawing how do I cover her face it's ok just draw hair"
pancake
so I was surprised when I flipped the book open and immediately said, "wow those faces look great" (I am striving daily to assert the confidence of mediocre white men, to see my work and say yes that is not only good enough it is superb.")
pancake
Here also is a dinosaur skull
pancake
https://images.plurk.com/5N6O4VlSukjlYhLjwJwNWW.jpg
pancake
This is a drawing from late 2019. I know that because in 4th quarter 2019, I bought an annual membership to the Natural History Museum. THANK YOU COVID-19 FOR MAKING SURE I REALLY GET THE MONEY OUT OF MY ANNUAL MUSEUM MEMBERSHIP. SIGH.
pancake
it's been a rough year.
pancake
anway I need to scan some of these sketchbook pages or something because there's some nice stuff in here. :\
нєℓρ★нιкα
you are so fucking talented
Iʟʟᴏɢɪᴄᴀʟ.
^this u bitch
нєℓρ★нιкα
i wish to consume your talent
pancake
нєℓρ★нιкα you are also talented you just need to learn to accept that here take this white man confidence and drink it
нєℓρ★нιкα
What is... Confidence
pancake
ok here I will teach you
pancake
1. Remember how much work you put into what you do every day. Art doesn't come from the soul or from birth like non-artists always try to make the world believe, it comes from how much hard work we have put into our craft.
2. Think about all the mediocre white male artists you have known who think they're hot shit. Think about how bad they are.
pancake
2 is easier if you go to networking events. Like I am a member of Women in Animation, a group originally intended to lift up women but has grown to also include NB, fluid, LGBT, and POC because like we all need representation in the whitest malest industry in LA.
pancake
Every WIA event you attend, 5 or 6 straight cis white men will come by and give you a business card bc they're "allies" and they're such good allies that they are co-opting your space to try and get themselves ahead in the industry.
pancake
take those business cards, go home, and look up their portfolios. They will all be bad. Every single one will be largely inadequate compared to you, I promise.
pancake
Then remember what they said, how they subtly implied that they're better than you because they have SO MUCH unwarranted confidence. Meditate on that while you look at their shitty Dragonball fanart.
pancake
Now drink their unearned confidence, suck it into your soul.
pancake
While you declare loudly, because at this point in the ritual you will have lost control of your vocal chords, "this is shit, why does he think he deserves a job more than me??" you might find yourself thinking that you are being such a bitch right now. That means it's working.
pancake
A bitch is just someone who is not a straight cis white man who has stolen the confidence.
pancake
Every time you want to shit on your own art, take out the emotional voodoo doll you have made in your mind out of the business cards. Remember that your art is better than the art of those men.
pancake
Project that self-loathing instead onto the voodoo doll, allowing yourself to see your own art for the beautiful work that it is, and to see yourself for the talent that you are.
pancake
I think maybe it seems like I'm joking but I'm actually 100% serious.
pancake
hope that helps
нєℓρ★нιкα
...I like this advice
pancake
Message me if you want white cis men who have handed me their business cards
Iʟʟᴏɢɪᴄᴀʟ.
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