Is there anything Star Trek fans love more than talking about how fucking stupid Star Trek can be?

Remember that time Worf went on vacation and got so mad people were having fun that he joined a terrorist organization

that happened

that's real

Picard's very first borg contact Star Trek TNG (HD)

Picard: "Mr. Worf."
Worf: "Ensign."
Ensign: steps forward and immediately eats shit

I think the only thing trek fans love more than talking about their favorite stupid parts of Star Trek are the star trek episodes they hate the most.

There’s more than a little overlap between those two!

true!

yes, the thing I love more than talking about how stupid star trek can be is talking about how existentially terrified Thomas Riker makes me aka the great "does the transporter actually kill you" debate

Remember when Kirk had a knife fight with an old man and then read the preamble to the US constitution

Remember when wesley fell asleep doing his homework and accidently created a sentient race.

Remember when Wesley

fair

I don’t hate Wesley the way some people do but. Man, almost every plot that focuses on him was dumb as hell

Remember when they got Diane Diane to write an episode for them and then completely rewrote her script into unrecognizability and the end result was terrible

(Word from Diane Duane’s mouth on a podcast she guested on is that only one line of dialogue and one action cue from her original script for Where No Man Has Gone Before actually made it into the episode)

Talking about how it could have been done better than the stupid thing that did happen

I am super guilty of this, I do it in my head all the time while I’m watching

Dude, remember when the holodeck just accidentally spit out a sentient life form and no one took it offline until they figure out why it happened. Then another hologram became sentient and no one said ‘whoa, let’s step back and rethink this holotechnology, as it seems to keep creating sentient life forms and we don’t know why’

Imagine if the same thing happened with biological organisms. You’re trying to use the replicator to get you a slab of targ meat and suddenly the replicator malfunctions and just spits out a fully sentient new life form, no one knows why

Remember when Janeway went hanggliding with Leonardo DaVinci

I guess accidentally creating sentient life forms in the future is no big, which makes it all the more weird they are in such a conundrum about Data’s personhood, when it seems this is a thing that keeps happening in the universe, and you’d except someone would assign some government somebody to be responsible for sorting it out

Remember when she turned into a weird salamander and mated with salamander Tom Paris, or better yet, don’t

Erase that entire episode from your memory

Remember when Dr. Crusher got a deep dickings from an Irish ghost who also fucked her grandma

Sadly. So sadly.

What’s terrible for the writing for both Dr. Crusher and Troi is that they both have compelling backstories that are hardly ever mentioned or explored, and then when we get an episode featuring them, the theme is often ‘a weird sex thing happens’. I mean sometimes it’s like getting impregnated by an energy force in your sleep, other times it’s getting off

Sometimes an alien impregnates you, sometimes Captain Picard walks in on you masturbating

Just another day in the life of Starfleet Medical

your grandma’s ghost sex lantern, but then there’s also when you sex up a dude that turns out to have a parasite inside who wears your coworker’s body and then turns into a women, sexing up a skeevy dude who wants you to run away with him, getting targeted by a psychic vampire who makes you all horny, etc etc

obviously the most important things in your life

I mean, Dr. Crusher was born on the moon, then moved to a colony where apparently the ‘technology failed’ and it was ‘horrible what happened there’ according to captain Picard and they ran out of normal medical supplies, so she actually has this background of privation and moving from having everything to a place where it was difficult to survive, which is

maybe why she’s so weirdly embarrassed about the normally non-embarrassing dancing? but no, let’s spend more time with sex ghost candles

Data Learns to Dance, and Smiles

the thing that bothered me most about holograms is that the implication from Voyager is basically that they just slapped a patch on them that prevents them from realizing they are fictional if they become self aware, but otherwise still lets it happen

man that is the one thing that star trek books do better, i have a book somewhere around here that focuses primarily on keiko and troi and it really lets them shine in a way they rarely get to on screen.

What is the title?

Having a hard time remembering which book is which since its been years since I last reread that shelf but I think its either Imbalance or Nightshade

god seeing the condition they are in makes me feel old, I've had them so long.

Eh, I love old books, and in used book stores I’ll sometimes go for the older versions with pulpier covers

I’ll look those up