
Quinn Angstrom
Watching Wandering Earth

Quinn Angstrom
This premise is buck wild

Quinn Angstrom
It's the future

Quinn Angstrom
the Sun is suddenly degenerating and expanding

Quinn Angstrom
it will consume the Earth in 100 years and destroy the solar system in 300

Quinn Angstrom
so humanity's plan

Quinn Angstrom
is to build 10,000 11-km-tall Earth Engines

Quinn Angstrom
and push the planet out of the solar system

Quinn Angstrom
to a new solar system

Quinn Angstrom
under each earth engine is an underground city

Quinn Angstrom
which are the only places where humans will be able to live for the next 2500 years

Quinn Angstrom
that and the Earth Navigation Space Station, 100,000 km ahead of the planet on its journey

Quinn Angstrom
17 years later

Quinn Angstrom
people are learning about the seasons in Beijing-3

lily!
okay, this seems pretty wicked actually

Quinn Angstrom
it's not netfloox

Quinn Angstrom
on*

Quinn Angstrom
it's on netfloox

Princess Emily
thank God it's on netfloox for us to watch

Quinn Angstrom
our plucky hero wants to use thermal suits to escape to another city

Quinn Angstrom
planning a slingshot past jupiter

Quinn Angstrom
-84C on the surface

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-119F

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today we enter jupiter's orbit

Quinn Angstrom
Dad works on the space station, but is returning to Earth tomorrow

Quinn Angstrom
weird hearing Chinese spoken with a Russian accent

Quinn Angstrom
Jupiter gravitational spike detected

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Disaster warning protocols activated

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Earth is now on a collision course with Jupiter

Quinn Angstrom
oops, the hero is in prison

Quinn Angstrom
Liu Qi is the brother

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Duoduo is the sister

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Beijing-3 is collapsing

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Earth engine system failing

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1112 facilities

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3400 facilities

Quinn Angstrom
things have gotten real bad real fast

Quinn Angstrom
37 hours to planetary collision

Quinn Angstrom
The 4500 disabled engines must be reactivated within 36 hours or 3.5 billion people will die

Quinn Angstrom
space station crew are all being put into hibernation so they can dedicate 100% of power to the rescue mission

Quinn Angstrom
The Wandering Earth Project has failed.

Quinn Angstrom
The Earth has missed its last chance of escape

Quinn Angstrom
now instigating the Helios Project

Quinn Angstrom
300,000 human embryos and DNA maps of all Earth species are stored o the navigation station

Quinn Angstrom
to revive the human race on a new planet

Quinn Angstrom
Earth will fall into jupiter in 7 days

Quinn Angstrom
Jupiter's gravitational pull has siphoned massive amounts of hydrogen off of Earth's atmosphere

Quinn Angstrom
and that atmospheric strand.......

Quinn Angstrom
is FLAMMABLE

Quinn Angstrom
IT'S TIME TO SET JUPITER ON FIRE

Princess Emily
whAT

Quinn Angstrom
They're going to put all the power in the main earth engine into one of its seven nozzles

Quinn Angstrom
to fire a 70.000 km beam of plasma at Jupiter

Quinn Angstrom
which will ignite the atmospheric drain

Quinn Angstrom
sending a shockwave back to earth

Quinn Angstrom
to knock it back on course

Princess Emily
holy shit

Quinn Angstrom
this movie is amazing

Quinn Angstrom
someone looked at all the math involved in the logistics of this plot

Quinn Angstrom
threw it in the garbage

Niamh Vibes
everything about this rules

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and went 'yo what will be the SICKEST SHIT'

EsperBot
holy shit

Quinn Angstrom
Israeli scientists proposed this plan seven hours ago

Quinn Angstrom
the probability of success is zero

Quinn Angstrom
all remaining rescue personnel within range of the final engine

Quinn Angstrom
must choose to spend their last few days with their family

Quinn Angstrom
or throw that chance away to aid in a mission that has no hope of success

Quinn Angstrom
the beam is still 5000km short

Quinn Angstrom
three stations fired, none of them made it far enough

Quinn Angstrom
but

Quinn Angstrom
the earth navigation station has 300,000 tons of fuel

Quinn Angstrom
if they drive it into the beam, it will extend it far enough

Quinn Angstrom
but the AI that runs the station won't allow this action because it endangers the helios project

Quinn Angstrom
but Liu's dad used bootleg vodka to set the AI core on fire

Quinn Angstrom
so that he can suicide dive into the beam and save the planet

Quinn Angstrom
oh okay he detached the hibernation units to send them back to earth

Quinn Angstrom
so he's the only one who will die in the station

Quinn Angstrom
his own fault for promising to see his family again at the pre-timeskip part of a disaster movie

Quinn Angstrom
this makes NO sense and it's AMAZING

Quinn Angstrom
jupiter is on fire

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the shockwave hits in 7 minutes

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EARTH SURVIVED

Master Chieve
yo what the fuck

Princess Emily
"jupiter is on fire" jesus

Quinn Angstrom
please watch this movie

kamikasei
Getter Robo Armageddon reimagined as a real robot show