[ranty rant/ can mute]

i'm trying not to get sad about tomorrow but it's hard cause I did so much work, but it feels like i'm back at square one

there are a lot of people at my school who were super supportive of me becoming a teacher that me having to come back and explain my situation makes me not want to go

i just hate that i did all this work in college to be told that it doesn't count anymore and i have to do more work again

i studied my butt off for the certification exam even breaking down 18th century poetry so I could get a better understanding of it just to not be able to use it

i'm frustrated and sad cause i don't want people to think i didn't do it cause i did! I passed! But I can't go forward and it's like how many times is this gonna happen?

i'm so frustrated with my university but i don't even know who else to write about it or to send my complaints to cause it's just so ridiculous

i guess i'm just frustrated cause i pushed myself to keep going to school while i was grieving and i can't help but feel i could of just took that year off it wouldn't have changed anything in the long run

i guess i'm frustrated even more cause college bureaucracy is slow on a good day when you add the pandemic a glacier moves faster

i've been fighting with my old uni over this and it's just so tiring for them to tell me there are no other records of me going to the education building except two times and the advisor i had at the time lives in Canada now

but me working in a school setting for three years then getting my certification puts me above other candidates cause the program is to get certified not have it already i'm just so tired

i'm at the point where i'm like so you can't just click the button that says you endorse me, i got to go through even more college bureaucracy bullshit before i can get my life on track

the thing my state has put in is so stupid it's something that happened the year i graduated from college so how i was supposed to know about that?

idk it's times like this that makes me wonder if going through all of this is worth it the only thing pushing me through is spite cause i did all the work, i passed so i want the damn piece of paper

i may also want to wave it in a couple of people's faces but that's another thing

but later on today i got to slap on a smile and sit in school while feeling so blah about everything