Elias and where he fits into New Vegas

In the words of Leadhead - "A few times in everybody's life, they die and begin again."

This isn't something I've been able to put together cohesively in the past. Elias, and his place in the Mojave wasteland. He once lived his life as a traumatized courier, going day in and day out on jobs, living simply because he felt like he had to, and always thinking about the bullet.

How does a man as hopeless as the Courier become the Sheriff of the Mojave? I'll be honest, many apsects of New Vegas and their theme had confused me. Sure, FNV is fun to play but... the message the game was trying to convey was simply lost on me.

But on my second playthrough with Elias, I think I'm getting it.

I've mentioned before in more simplistic terms that Elias's arc is about freedom. About breaking away from the chains of fate and deciding his own destiny. But that is squarely within Elias. How does his actions, his personality and the very foundation of his being tie in with the story of FNV?

To simply put it: Elias is one of many people who have lived many lives.

I'm not just talking about him getting shot at Goodsprings either.

We all know the story. A child who's wandered the deserts for years, drilled into his head that life is meaningless and he's really just living.... because. Base instinct. He was separated from his family and spent a few years working for caravans and another few years being a criminal, a slave, a courier.

By that point in his life, delivering the Platinum Chip- Elias was simply another grain in the sand. The man had no ambition, he felt older than he was. He'd gone through his young-foolishness very quickly. He cared very little for the consequences of his actions, he'd spend his money at casinos and empty bed company.

Now, I'm not saying the bullet itself forever changed who Elias was, or caused him to act the way he does now.. (though that is certainly a part of it).

Getting shot in the head caused him a myriad of different problems and quirks. He's much more optimistic, more hostile and ready to engage in combat. And... he received amnesia.

Elias remembered next to nothing, not even his own name, when he got shot. But whenever he tried to remember or recall, he'd be filled with grief and sorrow. Emotional responses that were the remnants of memories. In his mind, Benny did him a sort of unintentional favor. Getting rid of memories that obviously caused him distressed.

And Elias, (still being kinda self-centered), believed that throwing away his awful past and becoming this new person would be best. A fresh start.... but was it really?

He became more motivated. I mean sure, Benny helped "getting rid" of Elias's past trauma, but that wasn't intentional. Elias's entire goal when going to New Vegas was to kill the bastard and then continue on with his damn life.

Its only after seeing what revenge has done to Rose of Sharon Cassidy, Boone and others that Elias realizes that seeking revenge is not only stupid but not in his best interest.

Its when he meets house that he falls into that logic again. He's a helpless pawn in a larger game. With no real sway in anything. What the bullet did was temporary because old habits died hard. No memories, sure- which means no history. Repeating the same sordid process of carrying other people's wills and wishes.

Regardless of what those wills or wishes might do.

No, Elias didn't die on Goodsprings, not even a little bit. So where did he die?

The Sierra Madre.

Not literally, figuritively.

Firstly: Dead Money acts as a catalyst of Elias shedding his "skin", the first part of his old self. Making him more empathetic and compassionate.

Dead Money essentially tosses away his vice of self-interest. He only does nice things for people if he can get something out of it. Even if there isn't a direct reward, he can always gain skill, loot and other things.

He could totally disregard Dog/God as a person and use Dog to easily control him, he could totally choose to piss off Dean (knowing it'll grow animosity between them) and he could completely wash his hands of Christine, but he doesn't.

At first, sure, he's really only trying to get out of that bomb collar, but as he works with the other three, as he bares witness to the horrors of the Sierra Madre.... he changes. Realizing he (And Mr. House) could become very much like Elijah with his ideology... well, itsa sobering feeling.

And as I mentioned previously, it gives him confidence. He got all three of his friends out of that hellscape alive, didn't take the gold like everybody said he would, and learned much more empathy.

It makes him realize he is by no means "a pawn" and acting like he is one, choosing to let others control him, choosing to act as a tool instead of taking this matter into his own hands is negligent at best and rife with atrocity at worst.

Dead Money helps him begin again, truly begin again. And let go of those parts of himself.