[cw: parental death talk]

i feel like i've plurked about this before, idk, but it came up again today

my sister and i can tell the most horrific off-color jokes about our parents' deaths and i'm unbothered

but i swear to god, no matter how well-meaning it is

a single "at least you can be grateful they died before trump/COVID/insert terrible thing here " can tank my mood like nothing else

why the literal fuck would anyone think a comment like that is okay?

w h a t the hell, that's such an insensitive thing to say

noooope

my aunt (dad's brother) is fond of making comments like this, mostly re: trump, and i feel like i can't tell her not to because i do think it's a thought that comforts her and if so, that's legit

i can see how it'd be, like, grasping an odd sort of silver lining, but like

some thoughts can stay in your own head

(on the flip side she would be horrified and mood-tanked by the black humor jokes, which is why i'd never get into them when she's around)

i can see it being a strange comfort for her but she does not need to say that around you jesus

legit the only comment that puts me in more of a funk is "well, at least you probably inherited money from them, right? that's good!"

(said by a dumbass of an acquaintance a few years ago! still crops up in my thoughts unbidden sometimes!)

W O W

........ belated correction that my aunt is my dad's sister, not my dad's brother

i know what aunts are

y i k e s

also like, it's super gross because it implies that the only reaction to trump/covid is to die. like. what the fuck is that.

like on top of the other grossness

like just

uggh fuck that

(by the way, general PSA, when something bad happens to one of you and you plurk about it and i comment with nothing but a bland "oh no i'm sorry 8(" it is 100% not out of not caring, it's because of stuff like this)

(i'm well aware that something i mean to be well-meaning or comforting could be a mood-tanker for you and i am actively trying to avoid that)

wtf, that's... yeah, not a great thing to say to someone else, even if it brings her comfort >.<

ugh, I'd be super upset by it too

you and your sister making off-color jokes together is different. if you're both on the same page about what kind of humor helps you cope, that's okay. but man, your aunt's comments are pretty damn tone deaf. if she comforts herself that way, fine, she can do so privately or with her own friends, but she shouldn't assume it's the right mindset for you.

thank you all <3 it does make me feel better to know that i'm not just being oversensitive and hypocritical

hugs <3

i’m in the same boat and feel the exact same way. you’re not alone.

i will mentally smack your insensitive assholes and you can mentally smack mine

you got it

my favorite emote

ugh yeah no

also hugs <3

URGHHH what a nightmare

If someone said something like that about my mom's death, I'd probably stop talking to them altogether. I have no patience for "at least (X) didn't happen".

yeah, it's intended to silence complaints

it's in no way helpful