[mh/babble]

kind of. in lieu of my earlier plurk today has been a very low key no good mental health day

i did zero chores. i just fussed over dog, caught bugs on animal crossing, rewatched spiderverse and played D&D

ordered myself a burger for dinner/lunch because that's where i was at

but just

siigh

im not sure if this is period hormones or just circumstances or whatever but i was just extremely drained today

contemplating whether or not maybe asking my doctor about braindrugs for ADHD or some shit would be useful maybe as i was on a video call with the family earlier today and like. lol. my parents told me to stop picking at my face and it devolved into a conversation of how me and my brothers all have trouble with biting/picking at our nails

my dad (who I am 95% certain is on the spectrum) talking about how when he works in the morning he can't focus at all and then in the afternoon he usually goes into hyperfixated states and loses track of time

and me just jokingly like "yes, dad, you probably gave us all ADHD"

(but honestly it's probably true)

both me and my older brother had severe issues with nail biting growing up and hyperfixation shit

and while it's obviously not like the worst ever debilitating like hm what if I tried to do something about my stupid focus brain

Hahah.... This sounds familiar '-'

especially now when life makes it fucking impossible to focus

but anyway it's just like. gestures vaguely

if u can't make your own dopamine store bought is fine

anyway. i think

im just gonna lean into today as day 2 of period my dog is sick and the world is hard

will take doggo out for his walk. maybe get a bath going and just chill out and read murderbot and try to get back in the swing of things tomorrow

we did at least have a very good D&D session with my good dumb catlock

Check with a doc, it sounds like a legit avenue to try.