I'm on a roll so let's also talk about how tired of Boston I am

I'm tired of you, Boston

It's good I am not moving this year and decided to wait until next year, considering moving during a pandemic would be hell but

staring down the barrel of another year here is like

woof

not that I have any idea where I want to go

I've been realising that I really wish I could find that sense of feeling like, I could put down roots

while simultaneously not having anywhere I want to

I'm kind of tired of feeling like I have a foot out the door everywhere I live but I'm also starting to accept that's probably not a location problem but just, a me problem

I've moved so much in my life, my family moves so much, we're just a bunch of wanderers who are never happy where we are

I wish I had that sense of "place"

I think a lot of people have their hometown, so even if they travel theyve got that place

I'd really like to live out of the country too, that's something I've always wanted to do. it's hard if you dont have rock solid financial stability though

I just keep thinking "where do you want to be, physically, in five years?" and cant come up with an answer and it makes me feel very unmoored

but also not financially stable enough to enjoy that feeling as "freedom"

its hard not feel like I'm young and childless and mortgage free and I should be utilizing that better than I am

But I'm also perpetually broke and burdened with huge student debt so it kind of evens out

your son, arthur degree

my child