โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
[pride] um, iโm.... gray asexual, panromantic, nb...... so i donโt exist and iโm a ghost
แดสแดสแดษดsแด
a story only told around campfires
ArtIsArt
Oh same?
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
iโve identified as nb since i was 24 but iโm only starting to publicly put it anywhere bc i feel like since i lean into femme presentation cuz my inability to be androgynous makes me rly dysphoric even tho i know thatโs dumb and i know femme appearing ppl can be nb.... but iโm still really self conscious and it feels vulnerable
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
so... thanks..... or something.. for hearing me bye 
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
i also only began to realize i was ace when i was around 25/26... and only began to understand it when i was 27... i still have some angst around it but itโs nice to get wtf @ my entire life
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
the more labels i accrue the more anxious i get even tho it just means i understand myself better.... deflates
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
i think iโm being a weenie cuz iโm on my period and really depleted from stress so ANYWAY
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
thatโs all you need to rly kno...
izzy.vrm
12 minutes tall
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
also i say that about being nb but since creating my plurk ten years ago i deliberately never chose a gender and iโve always Felt It since i was 13
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
but i was scared of it and didnโt understand it and now i guess itโs still a little weird to bring outside of my own private world and my relationship to myself
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
more specifically when i was 24 is when i began to tentatively express it and explore it
๐ rory ๐
ily and im glad youre starting to be more comfortable iding yourself and figuring more out about yourself
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
iโve never felt like a woman ....... but irl my flesh vehicle being my Avatar i look good as one
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
ty blake
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
also @ izzy yes itโs true! 12 minutes tall pomerian poltergeist
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
pomeranian^ phone what even
๐
its harry
spoopy...
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
(distorted yap from the ether)
๐
its harry
lkmdfgh
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
disclosing this so plainly is giving me such irrational anxiety why am i like that
๐ rory ๐
identity is scary and like we live in a world rn where ppl are finding out new identities and things to use to describe yourself, which means more ppl are getting viciously gross about it bc they refuse change. but just know that we all support you and youre so brave for talking about your own personal experiences and feelings out in the open
๐ rory ๐
beats up your anxiety
ZiriโO
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
lmaooo IVE KNOWN FOR SO LONG itโs not even such new info to me iโve just been so kinda 3/4ths in the closet
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
esp cuz of some of the shit ppl would say about non andro/non masc nb ppl around me (8;;
ZiriโO
y i k e s
๐ rory ๐
god destroy the notion that nb ppl have to look andro or masc
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
but iโve also always been told i have an andro personality which mysteriously always gave me immense euphoria
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
i think itโs a notion thatโs slowly wearing down at least
๐ rory ๐
YEAH its def gotten better over the years but its still prevalent here and there and its like Yall... everyone is valid
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
itโs also just been a weird thing to talk about bc i feel like my relationship with my gender has always been so internal that it must just be invalid
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
but regardless iโve never identified with cis women nor felt like one or derived any happiness from being perceived as one
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
in my Whole fuckin life lol
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
itโs hard to describe, and iโve always hesitated to talk about it bc i donโt want ppl to think that means i think external aspects of gender isnโt important, bc thatโs not what iโm sayin at all but idk
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
people always take other peopleโs personal experiences with these sensitive aspects of identity as a personal attack against theirs fkkfkgk
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
WHY IS THIS ALSO WEIRDLY A COMING OUT PLURK I HATE THIS iโm done now i promise
๐
its harry
GENDER IS HARD
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
i deleted my gender when i was about 14 and i havenโt been able to restore the file but itโs been fine actually the end
๐
its harry
lksmdfgh
๐
its harry
the variety of different experiences with gender can make it really hard to figure shit out when it feels like youre somehow like
๐
its harry
stepping on someone elses toes by doing ur own thing
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
yeah. and i have it figured out, have for years, itโs just. nnnot something i super enjoy sharing yet
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
i impulsively came out to a cis male friend and he was surprisingly cool about it... cuz he told me i donโt come across as a man or a woman when we were talking about gender behavior stuff
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
but i donโt plan to... keep doing that e_e
๐
its harry
nnnods
๐
its harry
its still Real if youre not telling people
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
he just accidentally validated me LOLL..
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
y... i guess thats kind of what i mean that my relationship with my gender is.... mostly to myself... but it does feel good when people see me as the way that i feel
ใขใฟใทโๅ็็ฃ
"the more labels i accrue the more anxious i get even tho it just means i understand myself better" <- that's a whole ass mood right there
ใขใฟใทโๅ็็ฃ
figuring stuff out can be really fucking complicated sometimes
ใขใฟใทโๅ็็ฃ
esp. if you don't fit into a neat, easily palatable label to the rest of the world, so to speak
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
6___6 YEP
แด
ษชสแด.
tbh i feel this... tho for me personally, labels don't matter much (I know they can be comforting for many people) so i generally don't bother talking about it for myself!
แด
ษชสแด.
anyway! i just came in here to peek and say you're valid and hug u 
โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
aaa ty lena i think thats more or less how i feel too 
but i appreciate the signal that youve read this as a pal anyway
but i appreciate the signal that youve read this as a pal anyway
แด
ษชสแด.
