I feel like I should check in and let y'all know I'm still not coping too well with all of this!!!

My sleep schedule is completely out of whack!

Most days I sleep until noon and don't go to bed again until 2 or 3

I'm having worse insomnia than I've been having in a LONG time, so bad that I'm taking trazodone again on a pretty regular basis!

That one time payment our government begrudgingly gave us ran out last month and I've been eating my savings to get through this month!

We're eating out (drive-thru or delivery of course) way more than we should be because I don't have the spoons to cook a lot of the time!

Our county is re-opening tomorrow and yet cases have been rising in the state for weeks!

What a weird coincidence that the rest of the state re-opened two weeks ago!

I'm having trouble keeping my focus on anything and I've reached the point where browsing my news feed gives me anxiety attacks b/c every article is basically "Conservatives say the virus is over" and "Will the government give you more money? Don't count on it!"

Thinking about going back to work makes me want to die!

(Which, hilariously, stands to put me at 3 for 3 jobs that I had to quit within 2 years because I had a suicidal break while working at them. What the FUCK does that say about me?)

I don't even want to get into the developments with Shira's health or finances but those aren't very good either and I don't know what we're going to do!

Huuuuuugs. So many hugs

Damn, that sucks.

And it's like your government is doing everything it can to make this worse and harder on you. :/

I want to be dead honestly

I'm so tired

I don't have the stamina to spend another 50+ years living like this, I'm not strong enough

I'm so, so sorry nella

and being that stressed over the job does not say anything about you, only the broken system

I hope you're doing better, friend. 💕 is there anything I can do to help?

I am really not, but there's not really anything anyone else can do :c

I just need to get back to work lol.

would you consider making a gofundme or something like it? it can't help for the longterm, I know, but maybe it can take some pressure off rn?

I would feel awful doing that, honestly

I get the guilty feeling, but you have good people who are willing to help out if they can and it might not be forever, but maybe just to relieve some of the immediate pressure of not feeling financially stable.