[RL/work/kinda mental health?]

I successfully put in my unemployment claim, so. Fingers crossed.

This still feels so fucking surreal, like one day I'm gonna wake up and just go to work like normal and it'll be the same as it was, but it'll never be the same.

I'm trying not to be cynical, but it's hard. It's hard. It's hard to not feel scared that I'm never going to back to work and that this is going to end with me losing my job because the money isn't there.

11 years and change at the library, and it comes down to this, hoping and hoping and hoping this will pass and I'll still be employed.

On the 13th it'll have been two months since I left the building for the last time.

My job frustrates me sometimes but it's also a perfect fit for me, I find satisfaction in my work and IDK when I'd be able to find that again.

I hate that it has to be this way

Me too.

thinking of you, shuri. Hoping for the best.
I get the surreal feeling too a lot. I have dreams about things just being Better, since - that's just how my dreams work sometimes.

I'll dream about going back every now and then.

I just think of, like. We have weekly video conferences just so we can see each other's faces and bullshit like we do in the office, Boss asks me how Animal Crossing is going, and just. Shit. I couldn't find that again.

I'll say, though, thank fuck for Animal Crossing. I truly believe I'd be in a much worse mental state without it.

I can fire it up and be in a place where I can just putter away and grow my flowers and listen in on my villagers have cute conversations, craft the stuff I gather into saleable items, and be calm and peaceful.

Also, thank fuck for the speedrunning community and their ability to throw together marathons and gatherings right now because it helps calm my anxiety.

Everything will be okay. Just letting you know it'll take 2-3 weeks at least to start seeing claims coming in, so keep filing every monday as usual and it'll eventually all come in.

Thank you, that's useful to know.

I do have quite a lot of savings, so overall, considering everything I'm in a pretty good position.