LiberBEARian
[family shit] Drunk mom does not understand passover
LiberBEARian
The other day she comes in while I'm watching TV and doing tags
LiberBEARian
Mom: What the hell are you watching?
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Me: (glancing up) Prince of Egypt. It's really good.
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Mom: (plops down) It's a kid's movie, I won't like it.
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Me: It's animated, but it's....more of a family movie, I guess? It's Passover
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Mom: Oh, okay.
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Me: And it's got Ralph Fiennes in it
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Mom: I like him!
LiberBEARian
(while the plagues come on and Mom is getting steadily drunker and more narrow-eyed at the screen)
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Mom: This is NOT a children's movie
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Me: It's like ages eight and up
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Mom: They are KILLING CHILDREN. On screen!
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Me: (laughing) Well, what the fuck did you think Passover was about, Mom?
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Mom: Who is this even marketed to?
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Me: Basically anyone old enough to know what passover is.
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Mom: Why are we watching this?
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Me: Because we're doing our own sedar on Wednesday and it's a really good, artistic movie
LiberBEARian
Mom: Well, it does have good art, I'll say that. Songs are mediocre. But they're killing children.
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Me: What the hell did you think I was learning in Hebrew school??
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Mom: I don't know. Shut up.
HEROphelia
songs are mediocre?
LiberBEARian
Me: (still laughing) Okay. Okay. Lemme ask you. What do you think we are passing over when we say Passover?
LiberBEARian
(I love the songs but I wasn't going to argue with her when she's like this, she's the worst when it comes to opinions)
HEROphelia
oh, me and your mom about to throw down :|
LiberBEARian
Mom: (dead and sour silence)
HEROphelia
though i do kind of love that she somehow managed to get through her life up until now without actually knowing what passover was about at all. it's kind of impressive.
LiberBEARian
Me: It opens with children dying and has children dying at the very near end. I don't know how you were married to dad for 30 years without understanding that we PASSSSSS OOOOOVER the houses of people who had lamb's blood on their doors when God comes down to smite the first-born children
LiberBEARian
I am just. So amazed too
HEROphelia
also, and someone please correct me if i'm wrong, but i feel like the plagues are kind of well known even if you're not jewish?
LiberBEARian
Mom thinks Passover is too dark and I'm like "Welcome to Bible study"
LiberBEARian
She was RAISED EPISCOPALIAN. She should know this shit!
HEROphelia
like obviously i do not personally have the experience of not being jewish. but i feel like people who are not jewish know what i'm talking about if it ever comes up in conversation. not that that happens often, either.
LiberBEARian
Sober mom probably knows it. Drunk mom is a roll of the die
HEROphelia
fair enough
spooky queer
lmao even i know this shit
HEROphelia
spooky queer
: ok good. like, i felt that it was a common knowledge thing, but i suddenly second guessed myself.
HEROphelia
ty for corroboration
spooky queer
i mean i went to sunday school for a brief period in my childhood but yeah
Hooded Figure
dsfjkdkgl
LiberBEARian
My brother set me up for a good pun too. Basically this year with everyone trapped where they are, the aunt's doing a virtual passover seder and everyone has to log into zoom
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Peter: We weren't invited to Aunt Sally's zoom thing
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Me: Yeah you were, you didn't check the email
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Peter: I never check my email.
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Me: Well, you were invited.
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Peter: I should have received a personalized invitation in the mail.
LiberBEARian
Me: Maybe you were passed over.
chrismas creep
I was raised Catholic AND my family always watched the 10 Commandments movie when it was on TV every Easter
chrismas creep
Passover is like
chrismas creep
a thing
LiberBEARian
MOM watched ten commandments! But she was drunk and also her patience was at nil the whole time especially when I started laughing. She kept asking who played Yul Brenner
spooky queer
LOL
spooky queer
my family watched that too
Cy-BRR!-a
I was raised Methodist and know what Passover is. Holy crap
skipthedemon
I've only been to gentile friendly senders, but don't you basically read the history of Passover as part of the seder?
LiberBEARian
WE. DO.
LiberBEARian
every year!
LiberBEARian
Drunk mom has no memory of 30 years of passover
Stab or swallow
Passover isn't something we celebrate but ...the lamb's blood is a big thing in church
Themme Fatale
There was a very educational episode of rugrats when I was a child
Themme Fatale
which taught me all about Passover!
Themme Fatale
I'm sorry that your mum missed it
LiberBEARian
I loved that special when I was a kid
LiberBEARian
it was literally the first instance I could recall of a cartoon not doing something christmas or easter related
Themme Fatale
Aw shit it's on daily motion! 
Rugrats S03E26 - Passover - video dailymotion
Themme Fatale
And yessssss it's still pretty much the only instance I can think of!
LiberBEARian
aaaah! :3
LiberBEARian
I think there was an As Told By Ginger episode where they discovered through some ancestry that one of the grandparents was Jewish but that's about it and I recall Not Liking That Show as an 11 year old
plurkishdelight
god the story of Moses was a big thing in the church I had to go to as a child I'm laughing my ass off rn